Vanity_Mirror

He looks like me, talks like me, walks like me and sounds like me. He is me.

Because I look at myself in the mirror several times every day I’m going to encourage you to do the same. My reason is far from conceit. It’s my one good habit that I’m not getting rid of any time soon because it forces me to look at the real person beyond what the world sees or what I allow the world to see.

Mirror reflections are important to observe, especially during our romantic relationships. They provide the true answers to the questions we need too know but won’t hear anywhere else. You see a lot of times we are very much aware of what our issues are but we destructively choose to ignore them for fear of facing truth, reality and more importantly the fear of change. By ignoring them, we only allow them to reflect in another image – a man’s. All of the painful past lovers, childhood scars, insecurities, low self-esteem, absentee fathers, physical and sexual abuse and the other unresolved issues we disguise will show its form in the men we choose to date. To you he may seem crazy, a liar, cheat, abuser, alcoholic, or just plain no good, but to the mirror he is all of your issues you ignored. He will be the image you see when you look in the mirror. The man in the mirror is you.

Self – awareness is a beautiful thing. Because once you discover it everything around you begins to change. The only challenge in finding self is that it requires you to look within and examine your most deepest feelings, thoughts and behaviors from a place many of us seem to take for granted – the mirror image of ourselves. Its duality allows us to view our representation and make immediate changes to improve our appearance for the better.

This insight came to me only after I stared at myself in the mirror pondering why we make the same poor decisions over and over again with the men we choose. It was then that I realized the answer was looking me right in my face.

We all like to believe that the men we choose are by our choices alone all of the time.

For the most part the answer is yes. However there is a large percentage of those decisions that are direct results of our subliminal self conscious that draw us to people who encourage and play upon our vulnerabilities and insecurities. If we don’t routinely conduct self –evaluations and be honest with ourselves with what we really need to change and improve then the image that we see will never be a true one. I challenge you to practice the art of looking into a mirror the reflection should be an eye opener.

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  • Shi

    This was one of the most insightful reads. I have so many girlfriends who need to read this. We as women will ignore all the red flags in the men we choose. The way we act towards others is also a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. We need to always look inside and talk to God for direction. Thank you for putting the frustrating feelings into words and making it real. This was really a Blessing to my spirit. I saw myself in this article. Keep doing what your doing!

  • Cassandra

    Gurlllllllllll, ” Self – awareness is a beautiful thing. Because once you discover it everything around you begins to change.”…..This is such a beautiful and inspiring article that you’ve written. I am so glad that Adrienne shared it with me. We as women need to hear these things sometimes !!!! This is “REAL TALK”…I love it..I look forward to reading more of your articles…Thank you for keeping us on point !!!

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