The proverbial monkey you have stationed snugly on your back has no other home. At this point, you are the host destined to grant this imaginary burden attention, compassion, and acknowledgment. When is the right time to let go? There are so many instances in our lives that can trap and keep us hostage if we allow them this effort. Have you had an argument with a family member over money? Are you trying to move pass the “love of your life” walking out on you and finding someone whom he or she thought was perfect for him or her? Is studying for undergrad, graduate, or medical school getting the best of you? Whatever your bag may be, there is no sense in lugging it around with you to every destination. People, it is time to unpack.
If you are one to harbor hate, then you are probably bound for wallowing in your own self-pity which will ultimately solve nothing. How do we let go of that which bends us but not breaks us? If your current bag is trying to get over a recent breakup, Maryam Dimauro has a list of five tips that are sure to help you through. The first step is allotting time for you to heal and accept that the relationship is definitely over. The last step advises you to learn to smile and find other hobbies or activities that will occupy your time. The steps in between could be considered the “meat” of this advice and can probably help you during your course of healing.
We all grieve in our own ways and we should be allowed to do so. But, if your bag is holding on to the death of a loved one and not providing a chance for you to “live,” then unpacking truly needs to take place. I considered myself pretty much done for after the death of my great-grandmother and to add to that pain, my maternal grandmother died three years after her. I felt lost and out of place in this world, but I knew the two of them would have wanted me to continue on with my life at some point. The death of a loved one can be a powerful blow to our hearts, minds, and souls. Scott Mayes offers his advice in a list of steps that may help you while coping with the death of a loved one.
In my Death and Dying class while I was an undergrad studying Psychology, my professor for this course urged us to write about the most important person in our lives and reveal how we would probably cope with their loss. She also instructed us to interview them and share their life’s story with the class. I would have to say that this exercise increased my awareness of life and gave me the opportunity to learn that “death and dying” must take place in order for new life to arrive. Grieving is a somber occurrence and there is no telling how long it will last. But, if you can will yourself out of a funk that you may feel yourself sinking into due to the loss of a loved one, then you are one step closer to healing and bag-less (in my opinion).
It is easier said than done to just throw your hands up with a certain situation that you think will continue to linger on even after a resolution has been found for said situation. But, when you have acquired that moment of peace from not having to deal with the constant agony of carrying a figurative bag full of woes along with you; I am here to tell you, this is pure heaven. The hard part is not unpacking, it is finding out what your “bag” is. We have so many things that take up our time, our thoughts, and our energy. Pin-pointing the stressor (s) or cause (s) will take some practice, but once you have found it, you can utilize the tools you have learned reading this article to extinguish it. Considering our life’s schedules; be it work, school, hobbies, or a present hustle, we have far too much weight on our shoulders to continue to carry and unwanted bag with us. Let it go, unpack. I guarantee you life will not seem like such a struggle when you finally do this.