sb10069044p-001I would be hard-pressed not to inform each of our readers that I am my own worst critic. There are goals that I have yet to reach, but I am the type of person who pushes herself so hard and continually cheers herself on, that I am sure they will get accomplished. I have spoken about my actions, demeanor, character, and practices in some of my articles, and they all seem to add up to: Am I currently living up to my own expectations or am I overdoing it? The same question can be applied to each of you; are you living up to your own expectations or could you be overdoing it? It is one thing to reach one’s goals, but to constantly push or overexert oneself because one has many ambitions could prove to be hazardous to one’s health. Maybe I am just pulling nonsense out of the sky, but I often feel as if I tire easily now due to all of the things I am trying to take on versus my past life and experiences.

Could it be age? Could it be that I am unsatisfied with my current status? Could it be my overactive mind working overtime? Perhaps each of these questions fit perfectly into my circle of life. I have often told myself that the worst thing I can do is fail. Therefore, I implement actions to keep this from happening, yet there is a slight feeling of slacking or fear that peeks over my mountainous mind and haunts me to no end. I want so much out of life, but I do not want to die trying to obtain it; so the task is to find a happy medium. This is where I find myself stumbling. I hope I am not alone in expressing these feelings; in a sense, there is an internal clock constantly ticking and I feel like I have to race it before the big hand hits ’12. Then, there’s that other part of me that says, “Slow down Tre, you have longer than you think.” I have discussed several of these feelings before in recent articles, but I want to go a bit further on this one.

When should one realize that their body cannot keep up with their mind? At this point in my life, I feel drained and I am only twenty-eight years old. I would like to believe that I would be obliged to add another twenty-eight and “then some” years onto my life, so wouldn’t it be safe to assume that I should take it easy? If you remember my August article, you will remember me stating, “I do change when needed and wanted, but my daily adventures are the same as each week passes. It is as if my mind and body are synchronized and have to complete these happenings before I can truly rest at the end of a workday.” Well, all of this is still certain, yet it has been “one upped” somehow and I have no idea why I feel the need to push harder.

Therefore, I feel that my mind and body are not as synchronized as they once were. Everything is coming together, the pace in which I was moving before seemed appropriate. So why am I going into “push harder” mode? Perhaps it could be the act of finally accomplishing more than my parents did before me (which was and is their wish), or feeling inadequate when compared to my closest friends. Whichever the culprit, I must find it, conquer it and move forward.

I usually add snippets of advice, helpful links, and uplifting quotes into most of the articles, but I am taking this further. Please, share your thoughts on why you believe I am pushing myself harder than before. Discuss a few steps with me that have worked for you in the past and still ring true. Give me your knowledge and in-depth thoughts on slowing down my mind and moving towards a smoother pace. You are more than welcome to recommend a book or two that you believe relate to this very topic. I assure you; I love a good batch of advice and will utilize it as much as possible. I would even venture and say that this current dilemma could be my present bag and it definitely needs unpacking.

My name is Tre L. Loadholt and I am a workaholic.

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  • Tre, I totally feel you. It seems as if I have an innate fear and intolerance of failure, so I always feel like I have to do more and more to ensure that my reality is one I can be proud of. Trouble is, I haven’t quite figured out what I want to do, so while I’m pushing, I’m not quite sure I’m going in the right direction.

    IMO, if you’re doing what you’d like to be doing and you’re getting benefit from it, push until you can’t anymore. If not, pull back and refocus.

    *hugs*

  • tremaine

    Alicia, I appreciate these words, “push until you can’t anymore. If not, pull back and refocus.” Truly, I do. After reading the responses to this article over the past week, I am more enlightened about my current situation than I was before. Thanks for reading.