Appearance Fee


20070904-objects-029Who hasn’t judged a book by its cover? I think it’s safe to say that we were once guilty of making a book “purchase” based solely on the “beauty” of its outside cover without taking the time to read the “summary” inside or learning more about the “author”. Only to read half way into the “book” and realize that what we assumed was “glitter” was far from “gold”. This metaphor is parallel to the way many sisters pre-judge one another. Whether we do it instinctively or by habit we tend to judge other women by their “covers” or the images they portray, especially when their “covers” represent fabulousity, glamour and an all around “togetherness”. Yet, for some odd reason we never seem to consider how high her appearance fee is and whether or not we would be willing to pay for it.

Many times our cover stories are a drastic contrast from the chapters in our books. Our pages our filled with content detailing our lives which tell a deeper story of who we truly are behind the image we project. Under the flawless make-up and designer clothes may be an unhappy woman who masks her pain with materialism. Or the woman who seems to always get ahead both professionally and personally may have sacrificed more than one could ever imagine and is now reaping the benefits of her hard work and patience. Regardless of the circumstance, the common factor is every woman has a story and nothing is ever what it appears to be. If more sisters took the time to remember this fact, I’m sure there would be less hate, judgment and insecurities in all of us.

Over the years I’ve come to realize that the main reason why women choose to judge and ultimately hate on each other is because the woman who is perceived to have it all is a stark reminder to the other woman of what she could have become had she made some different choices in her life. Our unhappiness with ourselves and our life is the reason why we pre-judge and envy other women. However, with all choices there are sacrifices associated with them and many of us yearn for the glory but don’t want to pay for the fame. It’s so easy to conclude that all sisters who appear to “have it all” are spoiled, special or just lucky. It’s even easier to believe that they had no hardships or setbacks to prevent them from reaching their full potential. Both of these assumptions underline the cause and effect of pre-judgment and why they are almost always wrong. Every woman has a story, some better or worse than others but there is still a story that defines who she is. Her fabulous appearance does not make her any less immune to the up’s and down’s of life. We must stop judging our “books” by their “covers” and take the time to read our chapters. I’m sure we will soon learn it’s not always the fairytale imagined.

So the next time you think someone’s grass is greener than yours, instead of stepping on their lawn ask them how much their water bill is….

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