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dv1387007As I glance at the hands moving ever so slowly about the face of my Gucci watch, carefully advancing my daily fortunes, I realize two things. Number one: time never stops moving, even when some wish to halt the current in our steady yet progressive flow. And number two: Even as the promise of time goes; always sending our today into the luck of knowing a possible tomorrow, there still may be someone overhead who fails to realize the beauty in one growing older… our parents.

No matter how many calendar years of our life that goes by, sometimes Mom and Dad may still treat us like we’ve never moved past the careless age of 16. For us, the time warp can feel as paralyzing as being revered as no more than a helpless toddler to our parents; stuck in the tryke riding days of a kindergartner when in reality we’re independently sitting behind 4 wheels and V6 engine.

Anytime a suggestion is offered by anyone in life, you can rest assure that the giver likely means well when it comes to giving their opinion. As for the aided words of continual input fresh from the advice pool of our ‘rentals, we understand that those gentle suggestions usually don’t fall short from the arm span of them either. They too mean well even when we interpret it as unnecessary effort.

But on the flip side…

I’m all for the importance of raising your children well, in fact it’s a practice many have forgotten on a quest to get by as parents, rather than go the extra distance. But when it comes to a mother or father constantly telling a 30 year old what to wear, or what not to do after midnight (if you get my drift) I question when it becomes necessary to try and raise an adult who is no longer a child?

From the crowding opinions on the state of our Love life, to the constant arrows of unnecessary input tearing through the surface of our being, sometimes they come off as an overbearing coach rather than a cheerleader for celebrating our dedication to independence.

As we start to knock heavily on the door of adulthood, the idea of still being treated in the way of a non-independent, can sometimes be more of an annoyance rather than an enjoyable relief. Needless to say, that stretch of caring can be interpreted or feel to the recipient like a parent who’s overstepped their child’s boundary of crossing into a much deserved freedom of existing in adulthood.

After the bow breaks, we become a student of independence. There is a beauty in progression, but an ugly tone to those who remain trapped in a Peter Pan existence. You have to let your adult child live and learn on their own, especially if their life is moving in a proper direction. You can only hope that you have instilled in them the proper information. Even if they’re constantly knocking on the door of trouble you can’t fix a person or offer someone help who hasn’t asked for it. It’s a futile mission.

In essence, we do understand that Mom and Dad’s mentality to stay paternal and offer guidance is typically harmless. They’re merely dealing with the after effect of a need to continuously raise an impressionable child who will always need them for something more than the occasional conversation. They hope to have an influence that will be celebrated as necessary rather than regarded as a burden. It keeps them from feeling like they’re on the outside looking in on the soul of their own creation.

But at some point, you have to let go…

Mom, Dad, remember this, guidance is a beautiful thing and something every person desires at some point in their life. Nothing you’ve ever done has gone by unnoticed, and there’ll always be a respect for your extensions of love, care and comfort that you’ve given over the course of our subsistence. As long as you exist in our lives, whether it be in flesh or locked in a memory, you’ll always be more relevant than the masses, even when you think we’re growing apart.

But know this, because you gave us one life to live, we ask that you trust our ability to move forward comfortably in an effort to live it. Clipping our wings doesn’t hinder our beauty, but rather it gives us a further reach allowing us to go that extra distance.

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  • Tiffany W.

    This is a beautifully written piece. I felt every word.

  • Wonderful – as always ;o)

  • jayla

    Im surprised this post doesnt have more comments, its true to every word. Well done!

  • Angie

    My mother was always forcing her opinions on me when I was in my early 20’s. Anywhere from what she thought I should be wearing all the way to trying to force me to have grandchildren. I finally had to sit down and have a heart to heart with her. Eventually she got it, but there are so many parents that trip like this.

    Nice job.

  • Mandalay

    Yep, Like the fresh prince said, “Parents just don’t Understand.”