85637999I am 30 years old (this year), doing what I love (writing), happily married (two years) and live in the best city on Earth (New York City, baby). Even with all of that, I still have my moments. Some days I feel like I should be further along than I am at my age. Some days I feel I’m not talented or disciplined enough to finish this novel. Some days I get irritated if my husband can’t just read my mind and some days I swear all 8.5 million residents of this crazy city conspire to make sure I have an awful day.

What’s a busy real-life grownup to do? 30 is far too old for temper tantrums and far too young to be ornery. One thing I’ve figured out is that wherever you go, there you are. Sounds kind of simple, but so often we allow others to define our happiness and sense of peace. We (real-life grownup women) can take charge of our outlook on life and our overall happiness!

Below are a few simple, but potentially effective ways to “relax, relate, release,” “woosah” or any other phrase you’d like to insert that pertains to being at peace. To me it’s not about wearing rose-colored glasses, it’s about being able to separate the substance from the distractions and finding your path. I have found the actions below to be very useful in my own life. I hope you find something helpful here too.

Morning Ritual

How you start your day can often have a big impact on how you view the rest of your day. For that reason, make sure you do something for yourself every single morning. Make a ritual for yourself. For example, you could play a bunch of songs you like while you’re in the shower or make sure you always have your favorite bagels stocked in the kitchen. No time you say? You take the time to make sure your presentation at work is perfect, surely you can invest a few minutes into your own happiness everyday. You’re worth it.

Different Networks

We all know that you are supposed to network to broaden your career options, but networking is also important to expand your personal knowledge base. I have gotten countless (and at times life-changing) book recommendations, bits of wisdom and other cups of randomness from people at networking events. It feels good to run in different circles on occasion and have a truly substantive exchange of knowledge. I find it frighteningly boring to talk to someone who has my exact same outlook on life once a week. Mix it up!

Give Something To Everyone You Meet

This idea is from one of my favorite books The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra. Basically, giving something to everyone you meet is more about positive energy than actual gifts. Take the time to compliment the cashier on her nice smile. Say a silent prayer to the woman on the train who looks distressed. Send a thoughtful note to the guy you met at that delightful networking mixer the other night. I love this rule and I try to practice it everyday. There really is something to projecting positive energy. People will send it right back to you.


I’ve been doing yoga for about 10 years now and I swear by it. It’s a wonderful exercise for mind, body and spirit. Meditation can also be a part of yoga or as a standalone act. I set aside time every morning (I’m working on every evening) for meditation and yoga. The ability to clear your head and just be is priceless. I feel so calm and strong afterwards. Try to find time in your schedule for yoga or meditation or both. If you stick with it, you’ll start to see a difference.


I suppose this is self-explanatory. Smiling is a wonderful thing. It’s free and it brings out your cheekbones. What more could you ask for? Seriously though, without looking like a total freak, try smiling more often. I was at a job I absolutely loathed years ago and I started smiling when I answered the phone. People could hear that I was smiling and were actually nicer. Made the job more bearable. Besides all of that though, a smile looks confident, approachable and happy. What a great first impression to give your future Prince Charming.

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