Dating is meant to be a period of time where two people get to know each another, and establish whether their occasional social hook ups will blossom into a love connection. Clutchettes, I’m sure you can relate to a dating dilemma such as this. You know the scenario – girl meets guy, guy is feeling girl – so she thinks. Girl gets all dressed up in her best duds to impress guy, only to commune several hours over dinner and a movie. At the end of the night, after what she considers to be a good date, girl walks through her front door still unsure if guy is really feeling her. Fast forward a couple of rendezvous later, just when things look promising, girl envisions walking down the aisle, but guy starts to give off a distant vibe. Girl becomes frustrated, as she can’t figure out what guy’s behavior is suggesting.
To help girl navigate through her uncertainties, I’ve come up with a few red flags to detect what she ultimately knows is true.
Here are 5 Signs that He’s Not That Into You:
#1 Mood Swings – He develops a case of male PMS, causing him to have an attitude towards you. His disposition changes with the shift of the wind, or when he can’t have his way. He is very nonchalant or evasive when you try to talk to him, and brushes you off.
This type of non-verbal attack carries a negative undertone and can include sinister facial expressions. If he looks at you with an air of disgust or one that suggests you get on his nerves, or he’s irked by just the sight of you, then it’s time to run as fast as you can. While subtle, this type of behavior implies he may have anger, controlling or possessive issues.
#2 Parental Controls – He does everything within his power to keep you from his parents. He hasn’t asked you to meet his mom and dad. He doesn’t invite you to family functions or gatherings, even on special occasions or Holidays. He never mentions you or brings your name up in conversations to the ones he loves.
Family is an essential part of any relationship, and if you don’t know much about his, it’s obvious he doesn’t consider you special or important enough to share that element of his life. If his parents or relatives don’t know you exist, he doesn’t have any intentions on labeling you his girlfriend, let alone making you his wife.
#3 Cancelled Dates – He bails out on all plans of getting together. He makes up the lamest excuses (i.e. I don’t believe in dates) of why he can’t meet up or come see you. He prefers staying in, ordering take-out, and you must drive to his place on every single occasion if you want to see him.
If he doesn’t want to be seen in public with you, or is denying your presence, then evidently you’re not worth his time. If he’s digging you, he’ll value spending time with you. He will want to be around every chance he gets to absorb your personality, and learn more about your likes, dislikes and what makes you tick. Physical (not necessarily sexual) contact is vital to establishing a deeper connection.
#4 Missed Calls – He does not answer his phone, or it goes straight to voicemail. He is screening your calls, as he doesn’t care to speak with you, and is avoiding talking to you directly.
Hearing each other’s voice is also significant in developing a friendship and greater bond. The tone of one’s voice speaks volumes, and relays silent words that you need to hear. The key to a trusting companionship is strong verbal communication, and if missing, it’s impossible for things to advance to the next level.
#5 Text Messages – He communicates with you via text messages only. His texts are random, vague jargon, and rarely pertain to anyone or anything but himself. He sends these brief exchanges of words mainly during work hours when he’s bored, just to pass time.
With new age technology, texting has become the norm, but it’s not acceptable when it’s the only form of communication you have. Receiving [LOL] messages are cute for teeny boppers, and it’s even catchy when Trey Songz sings about it, but it just doesn’t cut it for adults. He could be sending mass texts to multiple females at once, and you would never know it. If he doesn’t wish to interact with you in person, then he’s not serious.
Some of these warning signs are obvious, yet we turn a blind eye to them, while others are not so evident. In either case, we’ve all had our fair share of good-guy-gone-bad dating stories. And if we’re better prepared to spot these situations when they arise, it will save us a lot of time, headache and heartache in the future. As long as we stay alert and not be in denial, the good news is that we don’t have to let a few dismal tales deter us from the adventures of courting.
Happy Dating, Clutchettes!