200119183-001Someone once told me if you ask for what you want you just might get it. What they left out was that you must first believe you deserve it…

I often question why most women don’t ask for what they want and deserve. Unlike our male counterparts we seem to be fearful of expressing our true needs and desires. I’m not sure if it is the fear of rejection or the fear of actually receiving our requests that hinders us. Every time I think about it, I hear my mother’s saying: “When you know better, you do better.” Her reasoning is why I guarantee that if more women believed they deserved better, they will have better. That applies to EVERYTHING – including love, life and all the in-betweens. It saddens me that to this day society stills labels women who know and ask for what they want high maintenance, difficult, demanding, and my favorite, a diva.

As you read this article I want you to begin to evaluate the areas in your life where you know deep down, is not what you hoped for. It might be your relationship where you are not a priority but an option, or your job (not career) you report to everyday that is just good enough to pay your bills but not your passion, or your savings account you wished had a little more zeros in it to purchase that dream home you’ve always wanted. Whatever your desires may be, understand that in order to ultimately obtain what you really want you must have a feeling of entitlement. Because without it, your wants will never be your haves. Your entitlement will breed confidence and courage that will erase your fears and conquer your desires.

Ironically, the very act of asking for what YOU want is one of the hardest habits to start.

Ironically, the very act of asking for what YOU want is one of the hardest habits to start. You would think it would be as simple as one, two, three. But in reality it’s not that easy. It requires practice, skill, tailoring, negotiation and clear objectives. To prepare yourself for the grander wants, start out small and gradually work your confidence up. For example, the next time you are out dining at a restaurant and the host places you at a table you really don’t care for, ask for your preferred seating placement. Or when you go to the hairdresser and after the third wash you really want one more plus a special conditioner, ask for it. By practicing with these smaller requests you will get in the habit of satisfying your needs and realizing that if you don’t tell others what you want, you can’t expect them to know. It’s only when you begin to communicate your value and worth to the world that it will respond to you in a reciprocating voice.

Remember you teach people how to treat you, so educate them well.

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  • kween

    you are absolutely right and i thank you for this….
    it so true for me, where fear has kept me from really asking for i want and desire. hopefully with a little bit of assurance and assertiveness, i can accomplish anything.

  • I agree that women should ask for what they want. There’s no reason not to. It is better to be alone, and maybe even lonely, than to be with someone and still unsatisfied and not happy. I wish women could just come out and ask me more often for what they want. That doesn’t change the fact that I’ll probably say no, since I’m a very selfish, ‘my way or the highway’ type of thinker, but none the less, they should still voice their true feelings. Don’t worry about my poor little ego, I have a bunch of women that will make me feel better after you say I’m not doing it for you.