Excerpt from Dumped and Delivered: Seeds to Uplift the Brokenhearted, Single, and Committed:
Just when you think all is well and your severed heart has recuperated, you seem to gradually glide back into that treacherous hole of disappointment and depression again. You had been feeling great for a few days, weeks, months, and years, but without warning, you and loneliness reunite. You begin to feel empty once more and somewhat forget everything that kept you sane in the previous, dark days. You lose focus and find fault within yourself. You develop regrets. You also begin to miss your ex, despite the hurt that was caused. You notice and magnify your emotional and physical flaws through criticizing yourself too much. In the end, you unintentionally forget about God, who has been with you from the start. Your consumption with what was X’d from your life becomes your focal point.
It is very possible to do all the above when regaining your composure from a breakup. Being single has its pitfalls, but it is those recurring moments, memories, and pain that make you stronger. The agonizing feelings are far from pleasing, but they give light to the future pleasures that God will shower. At this moment, it may not be easy to see God’s wonderful intentions. You may not see the purposes of any of your previous breakups, but each had one.
I was in church and the pastor said, “There has to be a death phase.” Something in our lives may die, but life follows after, whether it is the onset of new joy, an idea, a new job, new car, new friends, or a new significant other. The pastor also said that we have to hurt in order to heal. Look at your healing process as one that is beneficial to your health, rather than a consequence. Strengthen your heart, soul, and mind through keeping faith in God’s great plan to deliver you from pain to bless you. Do not allow evil forces to steal your happiness or widen the voids that only God can fill.
After one of my breakups, I cried as if the Lord had left me. I cried for days. My eyes were swollen and my head throbbed into pulsating headaches. I was a complete wreck. As I cried, however, I thought about why I was crying and who I was crying for. Of course, I was crying over a breakup, but I was also sobbing over a man. I was boo-hooing over one of God’s creations. I was tearing up over someone who was like me, imperfect and confused. I had to gather my senses quickly. I had given this man too much of my emotion. I shed too many tears for him. I realized that it was God that I should have been shedding tears for because it was He who never left me. He was the One who held me in those dark, lonesome nights. He was the One who never ceased to fill my voids.
My encouragement to you: Do not fret. Do not depress yourself or wring your mentality dry over anyone. Take a deep breath, accept your situation for what it is, and thank God for never leaving your side. Go to Him during your down moments and trust Him to heal your heart. You must communicate with Him through earnest, faithful prayer. There is hope. Believe in yourself.
Build your optimism and think more positively about your future. Thank God for your painful situations because after it is all over, you will be made new again with more common sense. Your point of view will and should never be the same. You will have more backbone and clarity when dealing with the trials of life. Talk to God. Look up to the sky and say to Him, “In time, Lord. In time.”
Be patient and allow God to seal your emotional holes because the huge blessings that He has for you will come in the most perfect, due time.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3
Neely Terrell is a school librarian, freelance editor, and writer. She is a graduate student at the University at Buffalo, where she studies Library and Information Studies with a concentration in School Media.
She recently completed her book “Dumped and Delivered: Seeds To Uplift The Brokenhearted, Single and Committed,” which is available at Amazon.com and Barnesandnoble.com. Terrell recently became the first student, African-American or otherwise, to have her book in the student bookstore at the University of Buffalo. This is the final installment of her four-part series this month.