Wanna know why so many beautiful, talented, intelligent, dynamic African American women comprise the 42 percent of “never married” as compared to 28% of their White counterparts? Well, ABC’s dedicated about 7 whole minutes to examine this complex issue, drawing from the infinite knowledge of ‘relationship guru’ Steve Harvey of course:

A word to the wise ladies. Don’t listen to Steve Harvey. Regardless of the stats, there’s nothing “ridiculous” about a woman with a 150K a year salary preferring to secure a life partner who makes as much, or more, than her. It sounds as if the esteemed comedian deems requirements such as: seeking to date and marry a man on the same level, who is worthy of ones time and energy, or desiring a partner whom one finds vibrant and attractive – rather than some dude on the brink of medicare eligibility “absurd.” There is no such thing as compromise if it means reducing your standards for the sake of a lackluster partnership borne of desperation.

Harvey is right about one thing, however. There are some good guys out there, within – and just outside – the cultural divide. It may be time to check out some new flavors, so to speak. And for the chocolate connoisseur, this could be an excellent opportunity to consider some of the young, successful and ambitious brothas from the Diaspora who have made the US their new home.

Despite the reports, there is hope for the professional young Black woman who is willing to stay true to herself, while maintaining an open heart and mind.

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  • RussGort

    My Dear Dot Just where do you get your statistics…….?
    Is it the same White Jewish media that you mentioned above?
    I would agree that the problem is not only on the Black Female side, however your source of statistics are flawed. If Black men are leaving the race for White women at a clip of 70%, then you need to revamp your assertion that you Black Women are only moving in that direction at only 30%. It is more closely clocked at 65% for you Ladies.
    Correct, the statistic game does falsify reality. So lets not play it as a game. Fact is my sightings and count is centered here in the Midwest ( particularly Chicago) and the South and West Coast. That there are plenty of Black couples out here speaks to an established past more so than to a Present and Future tense. Ergo a false sense of security. You don’t stop an infection when it’s already full blown. You get it in it’s infancy. Therefore the need for dialog and not Emotional Diatribe much like your own.
    I stand by my observations of Black women. I watch and study you because I am naturally attracted to you, but I see that which I see in major abundance and it is very disturbing for the future of us. Incorrect !, Black men do lead. We lead ourselves to correcting the path in life that lead to this social dysfunction that we are both experiencing by being at each others throat. Tell me Dot what’s the percentage of
    Black women who take the so called leadership role in this fight to preserving and strengthening Black matrimony as opposed to a high percentage of them that would rather switch cultural sides to satisfy they’re selfish personnel desires that have nothing to do with any man being in they’re lives emotionally at all ? Since you claim that the Black woman isn’t quite sure of where she stands because she is inherently beneath the Black man, how the hell did she get there and just what position does she have when shes dating this White guy? Is it a leadership role and if so just what does she lead ? True not every Black woman is jumping ship. I don’t think I said that they are.
    Again though, you do not stop an infection when it is full blown, but at 65% of Black women jumping ship the infection needs some serious anti-biotics like yesterday. As to the notion that more Black men are dating and Marrying out of the race……. if we as Black men drink the poison does that mean that you as Black females have to match or surpass us by the 65% activity that you display? Just where are your leadership skills taking us ? You stop cutting your throat and I’ll stop cutting mine. After all it was you I wanted anyway Black Female. Is my voucher good here or do I need to wear my Express card on my lapel and sleeve? Whose being pretentious? You ?

  • ENJ

    @Dot, I feel your frustration with RussGort, but do you really think by being so critical you can really get a point across? I was with you up until you said his “dissertation was a waste of time, pathetic, and pretentious.” You lose people with your insults and all you do is deter readers from the true topic at hand. Instead of offering solutions to his “emotional diatribe”, you berate his frustrations. You made such valid points, as did RussGort, but we need to figure out a way to not be so insulting with one another.

    @RussGort, you sound like you’re angry at black women for thinking outside of the box. Unfortunately, not enough of our men have not shown us that they can be the stand up men that we need them to be. Incarceration, babies all over the damn place, some HS education, and multiple women are just some of the traits that we see in more than just a handful of black men. Of course this may not be the majority, but its more than enough for people (including black people) to see them in this light. Sad, but true.

    What needs to be changed is not only the perception, but the way black men portray themselves in society. Many celebrities, specifically rappers, do not feel it is their responsibility to be role models. But at this point in time, we can’t just leave it up to Obama to show the world that there is more to black men than what society shows us. Obama is 1 out of a million, compared to the rappers plastered on our TV screens and radio stations.

    When a different portrayal of black men is seen, not only on television, but in actual reality, maybe more black women will be persuaded to give black men a shot again.

  • RussGort

    ENJ thank you for the balance.
    You are correct however there are not enough of our Black men out here in a Visible role to stand up with Black Women. ENJ I do believe that they are out there in more numbers than we will admit to. There is much work thatboth ides have to do to bring us to a better place with each other. I truly do love Black women, I just want for us to be there for each other as opposed to going astray out of blind frustration and socially steered to be each others public enemy by others outside of our community as well as within.

    • ENJ

      I was reading another article on this site, “BET, why do you hate us?” If you haven’t, you should check out the commentary. Readers made same great points and suggestions in relations to what we’re speaking about.

      I wish you the best, and I’m sure you’ll find your queen someday!

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