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I have a male co-worker who is married — happily married from what he says. But I notice he hardly wears his wedding band. I asked him about it and he said he’s not a fan of jewelry. I have no reason to suspect he’s not being faithful to his wife but as a single women I’m always disturbed by married men who don’t wear their band. What are your thoughts on this?

– Cheryl


What’s in the heart and mind should be all that matters. But it’s not that easy. For many, especially women, it’s also about what’s on the finger. The wedding band is symbolic of the covenant between husband and wife. Without it, symbolism is quickly replaced by suspicion. Warranted or not, people think the worse of a guy going hando-commando. To single women, he represents an untagged married member of the male species roaming freely and unmonitored while preying on the unsuspecting. He’s the character, that rears his head in every Tyler Perry screenplay, that women can’t despise fast enough or hard enough.

He’s guilty until proven innocent. That’s one way to look at it. The other way is a little less cynical. For a lot of men, it’s not about wanting to appear single. Some men, like myself, really don’t care for jewelry. For instance, sometimes I feel like my ring is cutting off proper blood circulation to the rest of my body, including my business. This is a problem. I told my wife it’s either the ring or the sex; my blood vessels can’t handle both. Because she knows me the way she does, she could only laugh and tell me to shut the hell up. See, my wife displays the tempered sensibilities of a lot married women (at least those I talked to). They tend not to get riled up because the hardware isn’t welded to our fingers. In fact, they rather we just be honest about not liking rings and stop claiming pseudo-diseases like “ring-a-titus”.

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  • Funny thing is, males wearing wedding rings is a 19th century American custom. If European men do wear them more often these days, it is the American influence. But even then, men’s wedding rings were not common until the middle of the 20th century.

  • My parents are in their early 50s and all my life never saw either of them wear a ring yet they’ve been married for about 25 years. I’m thinking if my parents who are a bit “old-fashioned” never bothered why is it becoming such a big deal amongst our generation? Is it because the divorce rate is higher than it was then or is it the role reversals in our relationships that is making us feel uneasy and insecure about our relationships?

    Personally, if the day ever comes when I give my hand in marriage I could do without the ring. It’s the hope that I find a man who loves me well enough and vice versa that we don’t have to prove anything by putting a ring on it.

  • Well it has been proven that when you get married that the preacher says “Do you have a token of affection to seal this .yada yada yah…..and bam!!! A lot of people will get out the ring. Me personally, I want a ring. But if he doesn’t want to put one on his finger, he either choose from the following options, a tattoo on his finger, a bracelet, watch, banner for the car, mugs, jacket, or some kind of paraphernalia that says I’m a married man. It’s not that I don’t trust him, it’s just I don’t trust these females. And that way they can’t lie and say they didn’t know he was married, so I get to address the both of them if he acts a fool. :)

  • Facebook User

    I used to not care about the ring. Then my marriage went through the ups and downs marriages go through. Death, finances, temptation ect. We remain strong and in love. My ring has become a beautiful reminder of our maturity.
    I love my band and would encourage every commited couple to show the world how much they are in love, when they are apart.