Article from BlackVoices.com — Marriage is overrated unless your spouse allows you to date and have sex with other people. This is what Tiger Woods keeps telling himself he has to stop telling himself, because it never ends well when said spouse has access to your golf clubs and believes the exact opposite. But according to surveys, 4 to 9 percent of married couples subscribe to the philosophy of “open marriages,” an arrangement in which each partner is free to enter into side relationships without guilt or jealousy from the other.

Earlier this week, there was much tabloid titillation about Mo’Nique’s remarks to Barbara Walters about her own open marriage. The New York Daily News headline read ‘Mo’Nique Says Her Husband is Allowed to Cheat.’ That’s not what she said, but that’s how it’s been widely interpreted. “Cheating” implies sneaking behind someone’s back to carry on external affairs. But open marriages are, well, open, and therefore the word “cheating” isn’t apropos. In fact, this isn’t the first time Mo’Nique has publicly discussed the arrangement with her husband Sidney Hicks, but in this particular interview, scheduled to air this Sunday as part of Walter’s annual Oscar special, she provides some clarity:

“Let me say this: I have not had sex outside my marriage with Sidney. Could (he) have sex outside of his marriage with me? Yes. That’s not a deal-breaker. That’s not something that would make us say, ‘Pack your things and let’s end the marriage.’ We’ve been best friends for over 25 years, and we truly know who we are. Oftentimes, people get into marriages and they don’t know who they’re laying next to. I’m very comfortable and secure with my husband.” And when asked, in a thinly veiled Tiger Woods reference, what if he ‘stepped out’ more than once, she simply said “no sweat”.

Maybe Mo’Nique gets a pass because of who she is. Perhaps, we hear her comments and think to ourselves “she’s so crazy”. But what about the non-Hollywood types like a family member or a close friend? Could we handle such a revelation? After all, by and large, the average American is sexually repressed. We have a hard time warming up to ideas that stray from our conventional family values when it comes to sex and marriage. We’re quick to judge. If it doesn’t synchronize with our sensibilities, somebody’s going to get talked about and looked at sideways.


(Continue Reading @ Black Voices….)

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  • Dot

    If this is what marriage has become than count me out. An “open marriage” isn’t a marriage anymore…to some extent its a “live-in” booty call.

    If you want to maintain that “openness” than don’t get married! I can understand people simply not believing in the institution anymore but to enter it and desecrate it in this matter is simply hypocritical.

    • I agree with Dot too, people have gone crazy, a marriage is between a woman and a man, not a woman a man and who ever else wanna join in, we’ll be hearing about something crazy going on with Mo’nique and her husband in the future, SMH

  • Donna

    I agree Dot and something told me I’d see the word judge in there somewhere LOL. Nothing is sacred anymore I always say to people who like to use the judgement excuse for whatever they choose to do to think of an example of where that absolutely would not fit under any circumstance ex a man who just likes to date 6 year old girls. A woman who sleeps with her own kid and “he’s okay with that” a couple that beats the mess out of each other rather than talk things through because it’s what works for them….like there comes a point where rediculum is rediculum and people have every right to call it what it is. and yes I did say rediculum:)

    And it’s one thing to be forgiving if a spouse dips but yea the whole openness thing is a mess.

  • no such thing as an open marriage- such the oxymoron. I see it happening though alot more and I hear/see of un”official” open relationships. I don’t play that! if we’re together then WE are together

  • Jay

    If I love a woman the last thing I want to do is hurt her like that, especially with some petty selfishness. I think it kinder to cheat and make sure you are never caught than this–not that i defend cheating.

  • modern lady

    They are REALLY splitting hairs over the ‘cheating’ issue. If you’re married and sleeping with other people OUTSIDE of the marriage-it’s cheating. Or more technically-adultery. You can’t fool God into thinking this mess is right.

    Look @ his face in that picture…he looks like the fox who ate the canary. Dude is like her pimp…he gets money from her as her mgr., they ‘agree’ that she will stay if he cheats and he can tell her what to do & look like and pretend it’s just ‘business’. Yep, Sounds like a pimp to me.