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“Did you see her? Would you rock those leopard print shoes? They kind of remind me of a tacky, stripper shoe if you ask me. The rest of the outfit is decent though…She’s actually kind of pretty. Well, kind of…”

An associate of mine stated as she felt the need to let her inner thoughts spill out through her mouth. Wishing she had kept her commentary to herself, she went on and acted as if she was a guest judge on America’s Next Top Model by critiquing each confident woman who entered the door. Being irritated, we ordered another round of drinks hoping she would keep her “expert” criticism of the world to herself. There were numerous women in the vicinity who were fly in their own right and “the judge” attempted to find at least one flaw in them to knock them off their pedestal.

My associate was attractive as well, but for some reason she seemed she would only be truly confident if she were the only female in the room.

Now, I know we’ve all heard the tale of Sleeping Beauty, but I’m sure we all have encountered an Angry Beauty a time or two in our lives. An Angry Beauty is someone who is an attractive woman but seems to be mad at the world because there are other equally attractive women on this earth.

Beauty is not like a math problem, more than one beautiful woman in an area does not cancel out the other. We have all, at some point, suffered from side-eye syndrome that causes us to want to lash out at our fellow sisters because we may either feel intimidated by her presence or achievements. It is sometimes difficult to accept that just because another young lady is working it out, it does not take a thing away from your beauty, unless you allow it.

We already live in a world where society continuously tries to separate us, be it by complexion or hair texture, but we do not need to continue to feed in these traps. At the end of the day, all it is doing is proving to society that we cannot be united and support one another. There is absolutely no need to tear down another woman because, in reality, all this is doing is showcasing your inner insecurities. If you are secure and confident woman, you can simply give a compliment or if you’re not feeling it, just don’t say anything at all.

We have to begin to realize where the deeper issue lies within ourselves. Were you teased as a child? Do you not feel appreciated in your relationship? Do you not like what you see in the mirror? Are you simply avoiding or trying to mask a flaw you see in yourself?

Whatever the real reason you are lashing out at others may be you should take time and face the core of your anger or jealousy. We all have been there and sometimes it is the most difficult task to truly look at yourself in the mirror and see the honest reflection of your habits.

-Ellisa Oyewo

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  • KylieBlossom

    Yes, it stems from some lack of self-confidence, but props aren’t denied when props are due. I just don’t like the “your-man-is-looking-at-me” look.

  • new moon

    Hmm very interesting article and comments. I will be the first to give another women props o her outfit, shoes, and especially hair. But when I’m out with my man, I suddenly get insecure and start thinking he is looking at other women black or white for that matter. We go at it sometimes about that. But rally its me and my shit bc men are visual and will always look at beautiful women, like men look at me. It shouldn’t take anything away from my beauty and I shouldn’t stress about it (unless of course there is disrespect).

  • Brittany

    Only l3itches do things like that. Why get mad when another woman looks nice?

  • jazzythoughts

    this article is a tall glass of truth, i have been fustrated for a long time about the irrational behavior of black women and girls towards each other (granted there are quite a few elements that have served as negative catalyst in enforcing or re-enforcing the bad behavior)i know its high time for us to analyze, reflect and own up to our inner conflicts so as to come clean about our dirty petty behavior. after all we are like flowers of various kinds and beatiful in our own right.

  • sillythepooh

    I’ve done it and had it done to me! Sometimes I do it automatically. :( It rly doesn’t make me feel as good as it does when I give another girl a compliment! Hating on other ppl just makes you seem ugly and brings your own shine down.

    If you’re making the most of what u got, jealousy is so not even a thought ;)