Increasingly we live in an age of hook-ups, friends with benefits, one night stands, high divorce rates, and even “open” marriages. Never mind the number of relationships that end because one, or both, partners have cheated. All of these changes in the way in which people conduct their relationships make me wonder if monogamy is an unreasonable goal.

Most of us grew up dreaming of finding our soul mate—the one person we will spend the rest of our lives with. But is this a reasonable goal? Should we wait our whole lives to fall head-over-heels for ONE person? (And should we stay with that person our whole lives?)

Modern ideas of monogamy are fairly new. Some scientists believe that our ideas of monogamy stem from social and societal pressures, rather than natural genetic ones. Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle echoed this sentiment. She said,  “I don’t think we are a monogamous animal. A really monogamous animal is a goose – which never mates again even if its mate is killed.”

She went on to say, “Monogamy is invented for order and investment – but not necessarily because it’s ‘natural.'”

So what do you think? Do you believe in monogamy or is it an outdated idea?

Let’s talk about it!


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  • I don’t really believe it but I can practice it without believing it.
    I’m open to being in a open relationship, the problem is finding someone else who is open to it.

    Oh well.

  • Gam

    The mere fact that it exists, and I see it everyday makes me believe in it. It may not happen for me, but I believe in it.

  • I don’t believe in monogamy. I think it is a societal pressure. If our culture was more supportive I don’t think children would be harmed by being raised by the community rather then a mother/father structure. I think it is natural for men and women to love multiple people.