It is common knowledge amongst me and my friends that you should not expect a guy to call you when he asks for your number. Yes, you read my statement correctly. I have become hip to the game. I realize that some men will waste time and effort to approach you in a social setting, make good conversation/chatter, ask for your number, go home, and not call. This has also been validated by close male friends who tell me that they have occasionally partaken in this unjust social experiment.
This is what we expect. Which is why it is so interesting when they actually do call. And ask you out on a date.
My tone may seem pessimistic, but I’m not a pessimist, I swear! (At least not from 2009 until present).
What doesn’t work is after numerous dates, appearances, phone conversations, g chats, Facebook messages, Facebook pokes and the like, you call _______ (insert name of guy) to talk or discuss a joke shared between the two of you and he doesn’t answer. Or call you back. Ever. Again.
You’ve just experienced the fade away.
Let’s list the obvious reason first. He’s just not that into you, right? But how do you go from speaking to an individual almost 3-4 times a week, to no call, no show? If you weren’t that interested you could’ve let me know so that I could watch all of the episodes of Kim & Kourtney Take New York that I dvr’d, instead of going on a date with you. You could’ve kept that $100-$300 dollars that you spent wining and dining me for the past few weeks on a girl you were actually interested in.
In college I could tell when the fade away was going to happen. You call _______ and he doesn’t answer, but then calls you back days later with a lame excuse. Or there’s a big party on Saturday night and ________ tells you he’s not going to be there, but then you see him in the corner getting it in with another chick to the Ying Yang Twins’ Saltshaker. These are traits of someone who’s just not that into you. But what do you do when you think its smooth sailing and you get the fade away with a rebound dunked in your face?
There’s a great scene in a movie called Broken English, where the main character Nora Wilder is eating lunch with her mother. Nora is dangerously unlucky in love. Her mother inquires as to why she looks so down and Nora tells her mother that she is just tired of the unknown in her romantic life. She says, “I think I must be doing something horribly wrong, but I don’t know what it is.”
It made me think of how many times I’ve sat and tried to replay from beginning to end what could’ve went wrong. Where was the initial sign? I know everything won’t have a “Kumbaya” ending, but a simple “thanks but no thanks” will do.
Ladies and Gents, please discuss.