The other day I was watching a promo for the new film Jumping the Broom, when Pastor TD Jakes, the film’s producer, was discussing one of the film’s main plot points—waiting to have sex until marriage.

After Sabrina Watson (Paula Patton) sleeps with yet another man who ends up kicking her to the curb, she makes a promise to God that she’ll stay celibate until she meets “the one.” Almost immediately she meets Jayson Taylor (Laz Alonzo), and so begins a funny and frustrating dance of trying live up to her promise.

Back in the day, having sex with your boo was reserved strictly for the married crowd. But as times have progressed, many have ditched tradition and chosen to have sex whenever and with whomever they want.

Personally, I don’t care what people do as long as they do it safely, but what about you Clutchettes and Gents?

Is waiting until marriage still a viable option? How long did you wait before you got it on with your partner? Why?

Let’s talk about it!


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  • ash

    imma just say
    since i’m a 22 year old virgin
    i may as well wait it out for marriage
    so blowjobs and fleshlights until further notice

    • Tomi-chan

      lmao I actually love you. I’m thinkin’ I don’t actually need to have penetrative sex either.

  • Drie

    @Realisticly Waiting, thank you, and I agree, for some reason every study done on relationships these days seems to support having sex before marriage as a means of “testing the material” I think this is riddiculous. I plan to remain abstinent despite the reactions others have to my decision. I do not deny that remaining abstinent leaves young couples anxious prompting them to marry earlier out of passion, but we must remember that when it comes to marriage in general if the marriage is built on faulty intentions or a lack of understanding as to how much commitment is actually involved in marriage the marriage will fail. Also, sex is also overestimated, many believe that sex is the crazy glue that holds every marriage together, however, many couples have (or had at one point) great sex but they lack trust and communication which causes a rift between the couple. The Point: sex isn’t magic people, if the relationship is lacking in aspects otherwise the relationship will not last.

    • Legallylove05

      Sex is overestimated? I don’t have any issue with your choice to wait (because I believe everyone should make the choice that suits her), but I disagree. Sex is extremely important to any happy, healthy romantic relationship.

      I don’t think that people who choose abstinence are a monolith, so forgive me for painting in broad strokes with this next statement: Perhaps some folks who choose abstinence until marriage may underestimate the importance of a the physical/sexual connection AND have some pretty interesting preconceptions about what sex is supposed to be and what it can be. For instance, if you think sparks are going to fly and mountains are going to move on your first encounter (or first 100 encounters) with your new husband, you’re going to be sorely disappointed. Good sex doesn’t just happen. It takes some knowledge about how your body works, what you like and dislike, and what your partner’s needs may be. That stuff comes with time, experience and experimentation – ask any woman who’s having sex in her 30s and she’ll tell you it’s WAY better than the sex she had in her 20s. If you find a husband that is patient and wiling to work with you, then that’s wonderful! However, if you and your husband aren’t on the same page (and how will you really know until you do it), that can create some serious problems.

      No, sex is not crazy glue (and I really want to crack an inappropriate and gross joke, but I digress), and it’s certainly not the only factor, but it is very important to happy, healthy relationships. Bad sex or lack of physical connection can torpedo an otherwise healthy relationship all on its own. I don’t think anyone here is saying that sex should be the only thing one considers in a relationship. I think trust and loyalty, among other things, are just as important. And I hope no one gets married simply because the sex is good. However, sex is certainly not overestimated, especially if you’re doing it right. To the contrary, sex is essential to the long-term survival of any romantic relationship. Don’t take my word for it. Google it! Ask the people around you.