Hey there, Angry Guy!

Yes, you. The one who can’t wait to get to work every day so you can spend half the morning pouring over articles on Black women’s websites…not because you think the writing is good, nor because you want to learn more about what sisters are thinking…but because you can’t stand Black women and can’t wait to throw shade in the comments section. Yeah, you.

And tap your friend over there. The one who’s a little-known Twitter comedian and spends his time “slandering” women all day for an audience of equally unfortunate menfolk.

We get it. You can’t stand Black women, because we think we’re all that. We’re whores or prudes, depending on your mood. We all want thugs or buppies or whichever of the two you least identify with. We’re all fat and if we’re not fat, we will be some day or we’re too skinny (which is why the thick White girls are beating us at life). We wear too much weave or our hair is too nappy. We don’t know how to let a man be a man or we have the nerve to demand chivalry. We talk too much and never listen. We trap unlucky men in to fatherhood by somehow forcing them into unprotected sex with us and we also use abortion to prevent these same men from their God-given right to be fathers.

But that’s not all! We are gold-diggers, but we also seem to think we don’t need a man now that Beyonce and bell hooks got us feeling all independent and crazy with feminism. We have a bad attitudes. We don’t support Black men well enough, despite being vocal and present whenever an individual or group of them is facing some sort of challenge or criticism. We keep going out and getting ourselves raped and abused and then wanting to cry about it. We get mad when someone innocently states that they don’t find us attractive when we are of a particular shade (or at all). We’re jealous, jealous, jealous of non-Black women and we are insecure, yet over-confident and too sure of our ugly, mean selves.

We understand your complaints. We’ve heard enough. Thank you for your feedback.

Don’t get me wrong: we understand why you come looking for us online. Many of us represent those very women who dared to reject you (which is insane, because surely a man who spends countless hours on Black women’s websites bashing Black women is probably gorgeous, successful and highly desirable) or who, by the sheer virtue of their own confidence, made you somehow feel ‘less than’ or inadequate. And without the internet, you wouldn’t have a captive audience of sisters to lash out upon.

Unfortunately, you will not resolve your issues with women via the web. You will not find your personality or appearance to become any better, you will not see your unappealing character flaws disappear. And you will not stop the shine of the many happy, well-adjusted Black women who make you cyber-cringe each day, because while your hatred is frustrating and annoying, it isn’t enough to make someone lose the inner sparkle that she’s got. That same sparkle that somehow infuriates you. We will go on living and loving and looking for partners who don’t share your issues.

You’ve made it quite clear to us that your unhealthy relationship with a number of women in your life (or perhaps simply with yourself) has translated into an unhealthy loathing for an entire race of women. Duly noted. While we’d love to help you through this, our humble internet spaces were not designed to be your therapy couch. So perhaps you can go find a site populated by other men or by women who you fancy more. But we will not be needing any more of your angry, bitter thoughts any longer.

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