“You can come to class and sit there. After I read your first paper, I’ll decide whether or not to let you register.”
You know that episode of Fresh Prince when Will takes that Philosophy class, then drops it, then realizes that he had found the professor that would change his life? In the end the professor allows him to take the course but for no credit. Well it was the beginning of my episode with Professor Roberts and I just wanted the closing credits to run and the entire thing to just be over.
Unbeknownst to me, Feature Writing was the most popular class in the School of Media and Public Affairs. People had put their name on the waiting list from their Freshman year and waited every semester with the hope that a space would open up. For me though, it was Spring semester my senior year and this much hyped over class was the one thing standing between me and graduation.
Nearly everyone in the room knew him from their years in the program. He was like the mentor every student wanted to have. And so as they came in one by one with their smiles of familiarity, I stood there with an empty class registration form and one shot to get it right.
The assignment was to write a profile about one person in your life. There were no more parameters on the assignment than that. Basically, just go home, write and in two days get it done. That night, I sat on the couch with one of my roommates and ran through a list of ideas. But none of them felt right and I was sure that my indecision was the first sign that I was not meant to be in Professor Roberts’ class.
I never once doubted that I could write. It had been my thing since I was little. While I battle many insecurities, my ability to string together a story has never been one of them, but still I couldn’t ignore the weight pulling down on my gut and tearing through me. What if this wasn’t really my thing?
More so than skill or talent, worthiness is the number one obstacle to success. When you are unsure of it, it can undermine you or cause you to undermine yourself. I was so caught up in trying to convince myself that I belonged that I was slowly leaking doubt into my thinking.
When I got that paper back- it didn’t have a letter grade on the front like everyone else. Instead on the back page in a quick scribble were the words: “You’re in.”
Sometimes getting to worthy can be harder than getting to happy, but it’s the most important journey we will take. It is a rough road for everyone, but it’s only as long as your doubts make it.
Today, remember the doubts only serve as detors. Choose to take leaps and bounds on your way to worthy.