Over the weekend I meet up with a new guy for our first date. Prior to going out, we’d exchanged text messages and spoke on the phone. The conversation was easy and he seemed to “get” (well, mostly) my sense of humor. After playing phone and text tag for about a week, we decided to meet for dinner and drinks.

First impressions are crucial, so decided to wear a flirty tunic, skinnys, and a pair of heels. I resisted the urge to dress down even though we were meeting at a spot known for grown-up video games, pool tables, and bar food. I wanted to look good, but not too overdone. I think it worked.

After getting turned around on the drive (in which dude called to make sure I knew how to get there and made it safely, very nice), we finally met up. We hugged—a little awkwardly, but that’s to be expected—and grabbed a table near the bar.

Not surprisingly, the conversation was easy. We talked about our jobs, what we like to do on weekends, traveling, his kids (he’s divorced), sports, and who the Lakers should try to get in the off season. Although we joked, laughed, and never had many awkward silences, in my head I was quietly resigning him to the “friend” category.


There just wasn’t a spark.


He was attractive, but he was missing something—a little swag, or confidence, or something that would draw me to him and feel those clichéd butterflies.

At the end of the night he hinted that he wanted to continue our date…at his house (a big no-no), but being I had just met dude, had a long day, and I had a 30-minute drive ahead of me, I declined.

On the drive home, I called my friend and told him about the date. I mentioned that although the man was very nice, there wasn’t any spark, and that I didn’t feel compelled to see him again. The funny thing is, I’ve been on the other side of that conversation before and have told girlfriends that maybe they should give the nice guy another shot. Perhaps by getting to know him better—I’d tell them—the spark will come.

But now…I’m not so sure.

After our date I sent him a polite text message thanking him for the evening, but have yet to call him again (he’s called). Did I write him off too quickly or should I give him another shot?

What do you think Clutchettes and Gents…when there is no spark, should you go out on another date or move onto the next one?

Let’s talk about it! 

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