We’ve all been there. You spot a cutie by the bar, or in the park, or in the cereal asle of our local grocery store. You send over your best, “come and talk to me” smile, hoping they’d pick up on the hint. Sometimes it works. You make the right eye-contact, flash your pearly whites, and baby boy (or girl) comes on over to strike up a conversation. But most times, your signals go unnoticed and you end up wondering, briefly, what could have been.

For many women, we’ve been taught/raised that we should wait for a potential suitor to come to us. Although we dangle the bait, making the first move is still a little taboo for some. But with so many of us still single and looking, seems to me that we should reevaluate our tactics.

Recently, I came across matchmaker Paul Carrick Brunson’s “Ultimate Summer Dating Challenge.” In it, he asks that women step outside of their comfort zones and ask and go out on at least 10 dates this month. That means striking up a convo, getting the digits, and asking out 10 men or women. 10!

When I first saw the challenge, I thought, “Oh hell nah.” I’m ok with meeting and talking to one or two brothas while I’m out, and possibly exchanging contact information, but 10? Not so much. However, when I started to think about it, dating is about the numbers. The more people you meet, the more your raise the likelihood that you’ll connect with someone you actually like.

So while I won’t necessarily be trying to meet the task of asking out 10 guys this month, Brunson’s challenge serves as a reminder that if I want to meet “the one,” I might have to go out and find him myself.

What about you Clutchettes…have you ever asked a man (or a woman) out on a date? Would you?

And Gents, how do you feel about women who make the first move?

Let’s talk about it!



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  • Jinx Moneypenny

    Yes, I would.

    Yes, I have.

  • Serenity

    I don’t think I would ever ask him out, but I would approach him and send OBVIOUS signs that I’m into him, but if he still wasn’t picking up on the hint then I guess I would. You can’t live life without experiencing some rejection so by the time your grown enough to ask someone else out on a serious date, you should be grown enough to handle possibly being rejected.

  • KB

    I have not asked a man out on a date…but I would if I the situation arose. I dont’ see a problem in a woman asking a man out, I think it’s actually pretty cool. I can be old fashion sometimes, so sometimes, I prefer the guy to initiate that part and ask me out. It all depends on the type of guy I’m talking to and the vibe I get from him.

  • Porfirio

    There are real interesting responses here. My experience as a man seems to indicate that women find me approachable . In fact, I guess when a woman finds me attractive it seems to be rather heavily and she insists that I realize the extent of her feelings rather than passively “send signals” and hope I “pick up on them” LOL Maybe I’m hot, and women know it so they decide to go for it LOL, In any case, I have no problem being approached by a woman in a classy (read respectful) manner. Some women definitely have skills, if I had some of their skills I’d make Don Juan look like BoZo the Clown! It seems like there is some confusion between people skills and romance. But to be honest about one’s feelings and not be afraid to pursue them requires a certain amount of maturity that not everyone has! So until a woman has grown to the point where she is more capable then she should definitely “stay in her place.” LOL and leave the more interesting activities to the more qualified damsels, yes?

    C’est La Vie !