As a non-watcher of television, I’m grateful to Jezebel for posting this commercial, as I never would have seen it.

Despite the number of things wrong with the clip, a part of me liked it under the “Summer’s Eve Commercials Are Going To Be Ridiculous No Matter What, At Least This One Had THREE Pretty Black Ladies” act. However, what did irk me is the reinforcement of the “p*ssy power” meme.


You’ve heard it, perhaps many times before: “p*ssy is the most powerful thing in the world.” Ha! Seriously? LMFAO!

Can something really be the most powerful thing in the world when people who don’t have one have been able to wield control over it for centuries? When it is widely available and widely abused?

There have absolutely been conflicts, scandals, and all sorts of madness that have been waged because of sex. But to suggest that vagina alone is some sort of mythical, all-conquering force is absurd. Is it a special part of our bodies? Absolutely! It is integral to the continued survival of the human race. And it is a pleasure center for many women–one that brings ecstasy to both them and their partners. P*ssy matters; but it does not run the world.

People love to talk about “the temptations of the flesh,” or how many great men have been “brought down” by what women have between their legs. Please. No matter how wet, delicious, or inviting a woman’s vagina is, it isn’t bringing an outsider down; that person brought himself down. We should change the terminology; perhaps, d*ck (and where they choose to stick it) is the one bringing men down.

But to say that this gender of people–who have managed to dominate most of the world–are too weak to fight the allure of sex, and to make women the ones to blame for such a think, is a clusterf*ck of foolishness. One that does men, themselves, a real disservice and puts an undue burden on women when it comes to how they manage the ownership of something that over fifty percent of the world’s population possesses.

We are told not to give it up for free but not to sell it either. We have to be careful how we walk around with it because someone might take it. And if someone does take it, then be prepared for every available excuse in the world to be used to justify why it wasn’t really taken–it was simply mismanaged by its foolhardy owner. Why? Because, you see, while we may posses the “strongest thing in the world,” we really don’t have the brainpower to govern it. At least that’s how society makes it seem.

The suggestion that a man (or another woman) may get some p*ssy–or the actual act of sex–has been used for bartering, coercion, blackmail, and many other unseemly tactics to get someone what they want. But the same has and can be done with penis, money, and anything else that one may consider to be desirable. If men are particularly inept when it comes to keeping a cool head when it comes to sex, that doesn’t make p*ssy powerful; it makes them lacking in judgement or willpower. This isn’t a universal male condition, yet the suggestion that p*ssy is so damn tempting is used to justify or explain everything from extramarital affairs to political corruption–even rape.

Does good p*ssy make a man do crazy things? No, but his reaction to it and failure to govern himself accordingly does. Good penis catches women up the same way.  Similarly, gay folks are sometimes felled by their inability to think wisely in the face of some good sex. Good food can make someone choose to overeat; Good clothes can make someone want to steal; Good drinks can have you passed out in the middle of a bar. The point is this: overindulgence, bad judgement, and even addiction to sex cannot be blamed on the “punany.” If a woman wittingly participates in an affair, then sure, we should absolutely hold her accountable for her role. But, what she holds between her legs is not the most powerful thing in the world–no matter how tempting it may be.

So this is for Cousin Mookie, who spent two years in the pen after fighting a dude over his girlfriend. For Clyde, who laments the loss of three month’s wages that were wasted on Tania’s purse collection. This is for Robert, who left his wife for the arms of Shanelle, only to find that she considered him to be a passing fancy. I’m so sorry that you had a bad experience that was largely molded by your own bad choices. But stop running around blaming p*ssy for what you did to yourself.

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  • james

    There are two types of men: one that gets laid as part of who he is and then the Other Guy ALL he wants to do is get laid. Its basically his only identity though he goes to great lengths to layer a atmosphere of success. Some women let this guy get the goods and then cry foul when he disappears. They are stunned that a man would do “all that” just to get laid. This does not speak for all men.

    Sex, its power is fleeting for both sexes. Now that men and women are (supposedly) free to have sex in any manner, we are in my opinion seeing things the way they really should be.

    Some women like millions of men just thought in an affair they can just show up and “give him some” and that man would melt. Oh yea it worked but then like men some women found out sex no matter how good only gets you more sex. He (or she) never turns around, gets the degree, starts to share in household chores. You then start to resent having let yourself get your real freak on with someone who is really a douchbag. Who forced you to let yourself go with that person? Oh yea You did. Not his D or her P. It was the organ between our ears that led you astray.

    Like my boy Jah, his reckless sexual behavior has cramped his life. In the 90’s at 16 he got two girls pregnant simultaneously, its been a debacle ever since. He is in his early forties with five kids (4 different women) and here’s a man that I dont think has a high school education. He fooled himself with the fleeting power of sex. I think now the same is happening to lots of women difference being some are older and have an education (though they may never see its full potential because of having a kid they didnt plan on).

    I think both men and women strut too hard as if they “got it” yet truth they are caught up and are in waaaay over their heads. I am sure this is what Jah would have said in ’93, no he isnt caught up, he knows what he’s doing. His moms still pays his car note and she is in the projects. Yea he got this all right.

    Sex is powerful but fleeting, its power is gone the moment its used. I have to agree here when all you offered was sex you cant blame anyone for the ills of the affair but yourself.

    • @James

      I agree, it is not the sex it is the person, its a myth that pussy or dick did anything. You placed yourself in these situations. I know of someone who has 5 kids by 3 different women, his life is HELL and he is always broke. Decisions can make you or break you.

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  • call tyrone

    pussy power does exist. ask any man that has ever dated Erykah Badu

    • Alexandra

      Well her current situation says otherwise.

  • Teearejay

    Agreed. We have all at some point or another felt the need to blame our bad choices on an object or mystical force “the devil made me do it” How do we begin to take ownership and responsibility for these bad choices. Whats the lesson behind the pain we inflicted? Even bigger than that.. Why do we keep repeating the same things and seem to be complacent about our failure to grow positively out of these habits? Open dialogue is key… Love ya sis.