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I’ve been drinking for over a decade and I’m still a few years short of thirty. We start young where I’m from and while I’d never brag about the time I got drunk at school and almost got kicked out of Algebra class, there is a small part of me that is glad I got good and comfortable drinking before I was 21 and that most of my totally embarrassing “I’m too wasted” moments happened before I graduated college.

I like to drink. Drinking is awesome. I enjoy wine (PS: the next instillation of our wine guide is coming next week!) and occasionally beer (it makes me too full to drink more than one in a sitting), but I am a hard liquor girl through and through. As much as I love rum punches and margaritas and other fruity libations, I’m totally happy with gin and tonics, too. Yum, yum, yum

What’s this piece about again? Cause I’m just sitting here daydreaming about liquor. I can’t help it, I love it. I love booze, booze, booze, booze/if he was my man, I’d buy him some shoes/and stuff…

…Um, anyway. It’s cool to enjoy drinking and spending time in bars/clubs/parties with a full cup. However, many of us- be we 19, 29 or a bit older-still need a gentle reminder about minding our intake levels, especially when out in public. Let me tell you, there are few things I hate worse than being so drunk that its not fun anymore and you’re just sitting there trying to get sober. And vomiting is no fun at all, no fun at all. For the last four or so years, I’ve been far more likely to be the babysitter (“Hold her hair back! Get her some water and make sure she doesn’t throw-up on her shoes!”), the car key police and the one who’s gonna hate on you so hard for having that last drink that you don’t even want to anymore.

You have to know your own limits. Some of us can down half of a fifth and be just “nice” (“nice” IS drunk, by the way, so don’t pull that “I can still drive” crap), while others are falling over after two glasses of wine. Whatever that threshold from ‘good’ to ‘scarred’ is for you, you need to mind it, especially in public. A few of my personal tips for keeping it together:

  1. Move Around: Sitting still makes it very easy to not see how drunk you actually are getting. You don’t want to get up and have an “Oh, sh*t” moment, so mingle, take a few extra bathroom trips, dance or do whatever else you need to in order to keep aware of your level of intoxication.
  2. Keep Count: You should always know how many drinks you’ve had. If you go to work with a terrible headache after five rounds of Margarita Mondays, then take it down to three or four next time. You don’t want to take a shot in the wind, you should have an idea as to how much YOU can handle and drink accordingly.
  3. Beware The Enablers: There’s always that one ‘friend’ who’s gonna tell you not to be a punk and to keep going. If you know that the next shot of Patron is likely to be the difference between a few more dances and a makeout sesh with the toilet, then don’t f*cking drink it! Let your homie do what she wants to do, ’cause what you drink don’t make her hurl. Also, be particularly aware of someone who wants you to keep to drinking while also seemingly having some sort of designs on hooking up with you. Even if you were attracted before, if he’s deliberately trying to get you sauced so that you may let your inhibitions go…he’s a pig. 
  4. Get Some H2o: Don’t wait until you’re already two sheets to the wind to start sipping water. Drink it throughout the night and thank me in the morning. 

Just remember that OD’ing in the club doesn’t just mean you may end up a TwitPic (and, honey, we should all aspire not to be someone’s damn “ZOMG! Look at this drink azz gurl!” [Yes, you would have the luck to get played by someone who can’t even spell] TwitPic ). And it’s bigger than being oh-so-tired at work tomorrow. Your safety can be compromised in a number of ways. Keep your wits about you and be able to enjoy a good time. If you promise that you’ll do that, I’ll share my sangria recipe with you a little later today. But you HAVE to promise.

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