Over the weekend a friend and I were discussing our dating lives when she told me she’d recently met a man she thought could be a potential boo. While we sat across the table sipping our cocktails, she gushed on and on about how cute he was, the fact that he was ambitious, his belief in God, and the fact that he talked openly about wanting to be married one day. I was starting to get excited for her until she asked a very important question.

“Brit, he just got out of a relationship, though. Do you think it’s too soon for us to hook up?”

“How long was his relationship?” I asked, hoping it wasn’t anything substantial that could come back to haunt my girl.

“Years…like three years…”

All I could muster was a “hmmm…” Should I tell my friend it might be too soon to get involved with a man who just got out of a serious relationship or was I just being overly cautious?

Clutchettes and Gents, help me out here. How soon is too soon to date someone who was previously in a long-term relationship?

Let’s talk about it! 

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  • OSHH

    I guess she never heard of the rebound/distraction technique that alot of people, men in particular employ after a break-up. *shrug*
    She could be cool with him but I would give him plenty of space and plenty of time without geeting my own feelings caught up.

  • Diggs

    ITA with OSHH. Being friends with this man would be fine, if the women weren’t already REALLY feeling him. Anyone on the rebound is a danger to themselves and whoever they encounter on the way…but I have found that MEN tend to be a bit more “gung ho” about moving on and getting over it and often times just end up complicated the situation even more with muddied feelings and residual resentment.

    I would suggest this woman be casual friends and not get too attached. When he is truly ready for a relationship he will pursue it. Until then I wouldn’t put all my eggs in his basket.

  • T

    Wow this sounds like me. It didn’t work out but that had more to do with me. It can be dangerous because I do believe he could be wanting to fill a void. The few suggestions given so far are right, get to really know him and see if anything pops up about the ex. Also make sure she is ready to deal with whatever hurts may arise from his past break up, you can be over a person but not necessarily over the situation. She has to be careful, so being friends and keeping her feelings in check are vital. Only the future will tell.