The other day I listened as a friend of mine told me how fed up she was with a new guy she’d been seeing. Although he was nice, cute, and apparently hardworking, he was just TOO into her.

Let me explain.

My friend is a busy woman. She works full time, is pursuing another Masters degree, and is very involved in our sorority. On top of this, she isn’t a phone person (and isn’t in a rush to get hitched), so warning signs started to go off in her head when she realized dude called every day…multiple times per day.

Clearly he’s feeling her, but after already informing him that she can’t (and doesn’t want to) talk to him on the phone every day, he still keeps calling. The other day she sent him a text message reminding him she needs and likes her space, and he called to talk to her about it. Clearly, this wasn’t going to work.

Although he’s nice, it’s quite clear he doesn’t respect her wishes or her boundaries…so he’s got to go.

But how?

How do you break the news to someone that it’s just not going to work out? Should she just stop answering his calls and responding to his texts or should she talk to him–one last time? 

Weigh-in and help a sista out! 


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  • Teena

    The ideal scenario would be telling the guy straight up that you’re not into him in a romantic sense. However this often meets harsh verbal backlash from less than confident men. Which is why I believe a lot of women and men tend to fall of the face off the earth and let the other person draw their own conclusions.

  • Tanya

    May I suggest the…I think we’re looking for different things speech? Wish him well and cut off contact.

  • I believe in the Golden Rule, and guys deserve at least a brief phone call, even if it’s just to say, “It was good hanging out with you, but it doesn’t seem that we want the same things right now. You’re cool, but I’ve got a lot going on, and I really can’t invest in an exclusive relationship. It’s better to end this now, as friends.”

    She should only disappear without another word if he’s been borderline obsessive-compulsive about contacting her.

  • I can’t, goodbye,block, on to the next one. SIMPLY PUT!