Have you ever wanted to know what drives a potential boo to pursue you?

Is it your eyes? The little sashay in your hips? The way your lips curve upward just so when you smile? Your witty repartee? Nah. According to the Maverick—blogger for one of my favorite sites, Brothers With No Gamemen pursue women for one reason—the Booty.

During his post Maverick mentioned a short film called, The Code, which examines what drives men (and to a lesser extent, women) to pursue a mate. And as the Maverick asserted, the film boils men’s pursuit down to the P—p*ssy.


Knockin’ the boots. Makin’ love. The horizontal two-step. Whatever you want to call it. Men and women both want sex. And many times, our attraction to someone has a lot to do with wanting to have sex with them. Even if we’re into someone because of their personality, their values, their sense of humor, or their ambition–at the end of the day–if you’re not physically attracted to them and can visualize them pealing your clothes off in bed, then more often than not, you won’t continue the pursuit, and your potential boo will become your new good friend.

Despite our best efforts, our pursuit of the D (or the P), is biological. Like other animals, humans have continued to exist because of our ability/need to find each other and procreate (yes, I know my heteronormative privilege is showing). According to Sigmund Freud, humans are sexual beings, so wanting to have sex with another is only natural. But is there really such a thing as “p***y” power” (or if you’re Jill Scott, being “d*ckmatized”) that draws you to another person, no matter how hard you fight it?

Wu Tang constantly rapped about it, Summer’s Eve did a whole campaign touting the power of the V, and men from Bangkok to Brooklyn tell tales of being caught up over some good poon, but as the homie Jamilah Lemieux so adeptly wrote, p***y power is a myth.

Without getting into all the ways women stay losing (i.e. lower wages, domestic violence, rape), when people talk about all of the crazy things they did because of the power of p*ssy (or the D), what they’re really remembering is all the dumb ish they’ve done and bad choices they made.

Blaming our shortcomings, bad decisions, and really, really stupid lapses in judgment on our partner’s (or potential partner’s) sexual prowess is just another way to not take responsibility for our actions. Sis, you didn’t give Raheem your last $20 because he could lay the pipe and you were under some sort of magical spell. Nawl. You gave the money freely (and perhaps stupidly) because you wanted to. And bra, you didn’t max out your credit cards taking ol’ girl shopping because she had the good Power-U. Nope. You footed the bill for her fall wardrobe because you had to maintain your ballin’ facade.

So when we talk about the Power of the P, let’s be clear what we’re really talking about: the Pursuit.

Watching the men in the film The Code go to great lengths to impress the object (ironic?) of their affection by working out, buying flowers, coming up with horrible pick up lines, stalking, and out right foolishness (which…didn’t seem to work), was not only hilarious, but got me to thinking…

Are we all driven by the power of the P—pursuit? And if so, are we powerless against it?

Talk to me.



*This post was originally published on whoucallinabitch.com, a blog about love, sex, dating, and everything in between.

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