Anyone who’s familiar with my writing should know that I’m quick to encourage women to do as they please sexually. So long as we are mindful of both our physical and emotional health at all times, there doesn’t have to be anything wrong with a little bump and grind…however, being sexually liberated does and should not mean that just anyone under the sun should have access to your sugar walls. Some of the behavior I have seen as of late has me concerned that there is some sort of ‘d*ck recession’ going on in too many women’s minds.

Yes. I said it. A d*ck recession. If you don’t have pearls to clutch, you can hold a pair of mine.

See, some of us are out here behaving like there’s no d*ck out here, so we just gotta hold on to whatever one we can get, be it attached to some trifling bum who doesn’t respect us, some aspiring player who’s slanging it to everyone on the block, someone who’s got a serious girlfriend or wife. People are acting like it’s Hurricane Irene and d*ck is the ever-so-elusive last flashlight in stock at Home Depot.

NEWSFLASH: d*ck is all around! It’s 2 for $5 at the gas station between the Tropicana juice drink and the no-name sandwich cookies. It’s in a newspaper box on the corner next to the USA Todays and the local tabloid. It’s being handed out like a club flyer by some unenthusiastic kid outside the train station. It’s everywhere you turn. Thus, there is no need to panic and to cling tightly to whichever one you can get…even if it’s a really good one attached to a less-than “really good” dude. There’s plenty more where that one came from and you should ignore them, too! Hold out for someone who respects you as a person, be the relationship romantic or purely physical.

Pause: I’m sure one of you is working on your “there’s no such thing as a sex-only relationship that is respectful, blah blah, I’m better than you all because I don’t have sex, blah blah, I hate everything you whores stand for and I just read these articles so I can leave a disparaging comment,” reply as we speak. All I can say is, if what works for you works, good. So please ride your high horse off into the sunset and let us more ‘earthly’ creatures talk in peace, thank you kindly.

It may seem liberating to say, “Hey, I’m an accomplished and driven woman. So if I want to take Roscoe from the throes of his cousin’s baby mama’s couch and let him come home with me some time, what’s the big deal? I like giving him car fare and taking him to IHOP and buying all the condoms myself, because he’s not working and Magnums are expensive. And yes, he doesn’t always answer my calls and it often takes him hours to get back to me, but I choose to deal with him.” But in reality, just because you can make a choice to deal with someone doesn’t mean that you should.

You don’t have to debase yourself for d*ck. You don’t have to put up with a dude who lacks the ambition to earn a personal pan pizza from Book It. You ain’t gotta sift through the ruins of someone else’s relationship and kick it to an habitual cheater (FYI: you do know you ain’t sh*t if you’re out here making a habit of sleeping with other women’s men, right? There’s not a single page in the feminist handbook that can defend that sort of behavior). And you most certainly do not have to put up with a man who gives you his a$s to kiss at any other time except for when you are about to give him the business.

So remember this: There is no d*ck recession. D*ck is in abundance. Choose your adventure wisely.

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