One of my homegirls called me last week for some advice and I just can’t rightly say that I can help her. After years of curiosity about inviting a woman into the equation for a night of fun with she and her beau, she’s finally ready to take that bold step.

BTW: I’m not using the French term or even the English one, because I know a lot of you are reading this at work and I’m not trying to take responsibility for anyone being on the unemployment line…thank me later and be similarly discreet with your language in the comments!

I can’t offer any personal anecdotes on the matter because I haven’t gone there before, but I’m inclined to say that if she and her man have built up the adequate amount of trust in each other and have set the appropriate boundaries to ensure their needs AND if they pick someone with whom they are both comfortable…it can be a fun activity for a loving, healthy couple. I know other women who’ve invited another lady into their bed and none of them have ever had any problems. But I also saw the movie Trois and it ended horribly. Kenya Moore ended up in a wheelchair looking hella sad. But if I recall, she didn’t want to have the encounter in the first place. So maybe so long as all parties really want to do it, no one will end up hurt. Right? Hmm…

What say you, Clutch fam? Would you? Could you? HAVE you?

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  • Ms. Terious

    I agree with some of the comments on here. It CAN be fun and pleasurable but you have to make sure all parties involved know limits. I always had a good time and if the guy got tired and went to sleep, at least I had someone to laugh and talk to afterwards.

  • VBO


    Don’t judge, but I’ve done two versions of 3. Two women and one man, and two men and one woman.

    Lots of fun each time…

  • RenJennM

    LOL! It’s funny I came across this article. I just recently put this as my Facebook status (copy & pasted, but edited for the censorship of this site):

    “Most Americans are too selfish, immature, close-minded, unimaginative, and prude to correctly and properly participate in a [“you-know-what”]. Leave it to the pros (I’m talking to YOU bored husbands and experimental teenagers!).”

    I said Americans because people in many other countries are just way more sexually liberated than we are.

    If you’re not into “you-know-whats” and would never participate in one, that’s cool. Like Katt Williams said, “That is your right as an American citizen.” Sh*t, there’s some things I’d never do. I personally think “the back door thing” is pointless and kind of nasty, but that’s just me. Do you if you like it. Who knows? Years from now, I may be singing a different tune (but I doubt it).

    My take on the “you-know-what”? I’d totally do it, whether it was two women & one man OR two men & one woman. The problem is, like I said in my Facebook status, MOST people can’t handle one. Meaning… when you have multiple people involved in something like this, ALL parties have to be satisfied at all times. People tend to forget one person and leave them hanging (no pun intended). If one person steps to the side for a hot sec, the other two have to now put on a show for that person because it has now become an exhibitionist-voyeur situation (which can be VERY sensual and exhilarating). You can’t just forget that one person’s there. That’s how it gets messed up. There can be no jealousy and very little inhibitions.

    I agree that MOST men would never do the two men & one woman style, especially if it’s with a woman they love. If a man does do it, it’s usually with a chick he considers a jump. I don’t think it has to be all that. It probably won’t be as fun as the other style because you’re more limited with the positions (trust me, these two men aren’t going NEAR each other. If so, this would be a whole ‘nother discussion). BUT after reading Eric Jerome Dickey’s book, Pleasure, the one woman & two men style does sound interesting. The problem is most dudes think it’s kind of gay, and/or they don’t like the fact that it would be all about the woman.

    I just think a “you-know-what” would be fun, if the right partners are involved. If done right (and protected), it can be an amazing experience. To make it even more exciting, do it on a vacation or in a hotel room instead of your bedroom. That way, you could leave all that there and go back to your normal life. I also suggest doing it with someone you’re dating. Doing it in a marriage could get sticky, so I don’t know about that. But every couple is different; some can actually handle it. So if ya’ll can with no regrets or issues afterward, I say go for it!