In a recent interview rapper Nicki Minaj spoke candidly about her upbringing. Although Minaj comes off as a confident, sexy woman, she admits that in the past, she wasn’t so comfortable with her sexuality.
Growing up, Minaj–who is originally from Trinidad–said she felt conflicted about sex. Because she was taught not to engage in pre-marital sex, the Queens-bred emcee says she felt guilty for getting her groove on before she tied the knott.
Nicki explains: “When I was younger, I felt like I had been taught that pre-marital sex was bad, and so I always felt like if I had pre-marital sex I would go to hell,” she said. “So when I did, I really felt like, erm…
“I suppressed that a lot. So I really went through years of trying to make myself feel comfortable. Like, ‘OK, I’m not going to hell.’
“But it was scary at that time I was younger, and you know that’s all I’d been taught. So I spent a lot of time beating myself up.”
During the interview, Nicki also opened up about her childhood growing up in an abusive home. Minaj says that when she was younger, she was scared to be anywhere with unlocked doors because of an alleged incident with her father.
“My mother left him many different times and came back. He would beg, cry, stalk us… One time, he pulled my mother out of a car and dragged her for two blocks.”
“After that I had a phobia about unlocked doors. Anywhere my mother and I were, I made sure the door was locked, because that was my only way to protect her.”
Despite, or perhaps because of, her background, Nicki Minaj has overcome adversity to be one of the biggest names in entertainment. Perhaps she can use her story to inspire other young women who faced the same odds.