The holiday season is upon us and while we all can’t wait to be with loved ones cracking jokes, reminiscing and being grateful we all made it through another year, some parts of the holiday season are no fun at all. Here are three reasons the holiday season can be downright scary.

Yes we love it and wait all year for it, but those special dishes grandma makes, and those pies auntie puts her foot in, will scare the hell out of you come the following week when you’re staring at an expanded version of yourself in the mirror. Sure everyone gives tips on how to eat healthy over the holidays, but let’s be honest, it’s damn hard to resist the temptations of foods you really only see once a year and quite frankly, when it comes to my grandma’s pie my will power is shot. #Fail

Your Womb Comes Under Attack
I know there has to be a few readers out there that will feel me on this one. You work so hard all year long at school, getting that promotion at work, keeping a roof over your head and just living a healthy, productive life, but the minute you step through the door alone…again, with out a child….still, your family forgets all about your hard work and begins wondering what the hell is wrong with you. They want to know why you don’t have a man, if you’re a lesbian (yes my grandmother asks EVERY year), if they can fix you up, how can you be happy when you’re old and have no kids, blah, blah, blah. It makes you want to just snatch the glazed ham and hide under your comforter.

Crazy Family
The holidays always brings family out the woodworks that you haven’t seen since Jennifer Lopez was still living on the block and these family members are always the most annoying, nosy and down right rude characters in the bunch. They always want to be in your business, jumping on the “Why you ain’t married bandwagon” or letting their bad ass kids tear up your ish, and when the night is done, they’re also the ones packing up the most food to take home and feed their tribe as if no one else wants a plate. You end up spending the night imagining yourself slapping the piss out of one of them (cue Mama Braxton) and tripping their kids. When the night’s over you sigh in relief…until you realize at some point you’ll have to do it all over again.

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  • African Mami

    I don’t see how the holidays are scary when you have control over all those three you mentioned!

    1.) Eat, in MODERATION.
    2.) Don’t turn up for the festivities
    3.)Put them in their place.

    • Mimi

      COSIGN ON #3!! Being the only one in my family without children and being my age and unmarried, I used to get the “when are you going to get married and have kids” speech all the time til I finally just told everybody to get the hell out of my womb and dont worry about me and worry about your own crackhead, whore, uneducated, unemployed children. Harsh, yes. But it was also direct and to the point and I haven’t been asked any questions since. I got no problem checkin’ folks. Don’t care if you’re family or not.

    • The Comment

      HA!!!! @ # 3….Put them in their place….LMAO!!!!!

      I’d like to see you tell your great-great grandma aka Big Momma why you don’t have no kids!!!!!! To a woman who used to pick cotton, cook chitlins on a Tuesday in June and had 10 kids……..fight yt everyday for 88 years of her life…….to old folks (from what I know first hand) achievements mean nothing w/o kids.

  • Candy1

    I don’t usually gain more than a pound during holidays. Since I gain weight easily, I only allow myself one regular sized plate of dinner, and three servings of desert over the course of two days. After that, I’m back on the healthy eating track.

    I have two kids, and people still ask “When y’all gone have another one? It’s been how long?” So having kids won’t necessarily keep people from asking those types of nosy questions. And even if they are all in your business, just tell them not to worry since you aren’t.

    The annoying family members are why I am always the first to arrive, and the first to leave. I stay just long enough to eat, give out hugs to the old people, play one game of spades, and leave.

  • CaliDreaming86

    #2 My womb is usually under attack. A few weeks ago my mother told me, “You have to get a boyfriend some time.” The thing is, it is rare for me to be romantically attracted to someone, so it looks like there won’t be a boyfriend any time soon. Not only that, but people seem to think that because I am twenty-five that I should have children by now. I know that the place where I am in life right now does not allow for me to be able to afford children, nor would I have children knowing that it would be a struggle. People need to think smarter than what they do.

    #3 We usually stay home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but some Thanksgivings we have gone to a relatives house on my mother’s side of the family. I don’t even know them like that, nor do I like them because they are too urban for me.

  • lulu

    i don’t know this post is kind of awful. at least you get to be surrounded by family and food…not everyone will have that privilege…

    • bosslady

      Exactly. But I guess everyones family/home situation is different.

    • CaliDreaming86

      Lulu, essentially you are saying, “Remember, there is always someone who has it worse than you.”

      Just because someone can be surrounded by family and food, it doesn’t make it any better.

      What if that person has a dysfunctional family? Are they supposed to be happy with being around someone who may be verbally and emotionally abusive? What if their family isn’t close, but they still have dinner together? Do you know how empty a person could feel being around their family where relationships are strained?

  • E.M.S.

    On #2 the answer is quite simple to me: you tell people to mind their own darn business. I wish I would sit there and let somebody lecture me about how I “need to get married” or “need to have kids” to have a good life. Those choices are mine and mine alone, and I don’t have to do anything unless I want to, not because that’s what every body else has done, is doing, or will do.