Adoption is a wonderful option for single women who have waited for that magical moment when they can share the birth of their child with the love of their lives. But unfortunately when that sought after partner never shows up, they are forced to perform a solo act. Then we have those women that choose to go it alone and have no regrets or misgivings about raising a kid alone despite the societal rulebook.

Its awesome that there are choices out there for women that feel they are destined to be mothers especially the ones that are financially capable to take on such an overwhelming responsibility. But the trend these days seem to border around white women adopting babies of African descent. Celebs from Sandra Bullock to now American Horror Story actress Connie Britton, are satisfying their motherly intuition by accommodating a more exotic option. Money always talks whenever a financial transaction is in play and obviously these women are in enviable positions when it comes to having their pick of the litter, but does that justify their decision to adopt children with backgrounds that are too richly textured for them to encompass?

From the outside it looks pretty and even coated with elements of humanitarian themes, but the real question is whether or not these women can adequately uphold the constitutional foundation of their culture so they remain true to their identity as opposed to spending a lifetime trying to successfully digest what is being fed to them.

You hardly see single African-American women adopting Caucasian children but Caucasian women adopt ethnic children with an ease that’s almost alarming. It would be interesting to do a study on how these “lucky” kids are thriving, years later and what advantages and disadvantages come with being raised in a household that is strikingly opposite of their very foundation.

What do you think? Do you think white women are the best role models and long-term influence for their culturally distinctive adopted babies?

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  • To all white women reading this wanting to adopt black african, or other “ethnic” children, please do not raise that child “colorblind.” In this country, race may not seem influential to you, but it has a large affect on children growing up. Instill in them pride and confidence in themselves–WHOLLY. Which means pride in their origins, in their ethnicity, their culture and native history. You cannot ignore their race and ethnic origins.

    If you bring a child from Cambodia to this country, reach out and become involved in the Cambodian community of your city. Provide them with resources to connect with their culture. Immerse yourself as well in that culture. Teach them the language, and learn it as well. Take them to temple or whatever. Sure you might not be able to suddenly become a fullblown Cambodian, or Ethiopian or Honduran, but you need to be open and truly involve that child in their roots.

    That’s my main beef. That too many white people adopt from a country abroad and don’t care to learn about their origins and make sure their kid does as well.

    Sorry this was meant to be its own comment, and I realize I focused on adoptions abroad but the same can be applied to adopting African American children. Involve them in black churches, local communities centers, take the time to learn about black history–not just PC history either.

  • Michelle

    Why don’t they have their own biological children? Why do they insist on adopting Black children? I think it’s seen as “edgy” or “liberal” to adopting another race of children now thanks to that loon Angelina Jolie.

    • Lulu

      I’m sure you know that many people can’t have biological children :/ I would if I could!

      I am looking into adopting as an American singlewhitefemale. My preference would be to adopt an infant in good health. I don’t care what color it is. If I adopt a black baby, it’s not because I insisted on adopting a black baby. It would be because that is the baby that was matched with me. The chances of that are higher than being matched with a healthy white baby, and I don’t care. I don’t think I’d go through all of the trouble of adopting and parenting a child just to show how edgy and liberal I am. Also, being a single adoptive mother is an obstacle. Ethiopia is one of the countries that allows it – so maybe that’s another reason why Ethiopia is popular.

  • Terri Willcocks

    I am a single white woman with two internationally adopted boys. Even thought I could physically have children I adopted because I simply needed to be a mom and there are many children out there who simply need moms. I began to do some research to choose where I would begin my search for a child. I first tried locally, only to discover that with open adoptions it was highly unlikely that a birth mother wanting to place a child would purposely choose a single mom for her baby. My research revealed that white, blue eyed children from Russia were in high demand and came at astronomical prices. But it wasn’t the price that put me off – it was the fact that these children would be easy to place – there are in demand. I didn’t care where my child came from so why not choose one with the odds stacked against him? Enter Makai, my tiny Haitian-born baby with the cleft lip and palate who at one was half the size he should have been due to malnutrition and chronic dehydration, soon followed by Setota, my Ethipian-born, rage-filled baby who was mad at the world at the ripe old age of 6 months and exhibited attachment disorder. You don’t take on children with these kinds of issues because you feel like a white warrior – the reality is gritty and hard work. You take them into your heart and your life because the moment you see their faces an inexplicable gong goes off inside of you that says “this was always meant to be – this is right – these are my children.” For many underpriviledged children being adopted is akin to winning the lottery – the odds are not very good. Thousands are never adopted, they never know mother-love, they don’t have that one sure person in their lives whose eyes light up when they enter a room. This issue of transracial adoption is not which “colour” of person is a better parent, it’s not so superficial. It’s about creating a loving family that cherishes, supports, and will do anything for each other. I can’t imagine loving a biological child any more than I love my adopted sons. When I am at their school concerts my heart bursts with pride, the tears flow because I love them so much it can hurt – like any mother. I am not raising them to be “black” men or “white” men – I am raising them to be great men. We are not colour blind, we celebrate our colours, our birth cultures, and our histories. Regardless of where each of us was born, we are a well adjusted normal family.

  • Pixy

    I know lots of family including myself that have tried to adopt a child and was giving a VERY HARD TIME by the agencies !……you have to remember it’s a money making deal……
    The adoption agency give single Black women, and stable couples a VERY had time when it come to adopting these kids….

    Lot’s of people want to adopt…but these agencies get money for these kids and THEY really do not want people to adopt them…..they say they do, but they really don’t.

    Then the want you to adopt a child with behavior problems or health problems…they want to push these kids on you…….