I was sitting around attempting to do some work when my Pandora station decided to play an oldie but goodie by Kelly Price (where the hell is she??) called ‘Friend Of Mine.’ In the song Kelly is telling her godfather Mr. Biggs all about how her man, R. Kelly, has cheated with her best friend and after I cracked up at the sing song dialogue, it got me to thinking, could I forgive my BFF if she did the same to me? I’ve known my best friend for 20 years and we’ve been through all the ups and downs that come from being in a relationship that has gone from the days of training bras and uniform skirts to grown women with careers and families. But to be honest I don’t know if any of that would mean a damn thing if I caught her knocking H-Town boots with the man I love.

Men have a ‘bros before h*es’ code that seems to work for them most of the time and in theory could work for woman as well. However, while I see the logic in that ideology to a degree, the majority of me feels that if it really is your friend before some random man or woman, wouldn’t you put them first before you slept with the person they’re with? Wouldn’t your friendship with them mean more than a fleeting gratifying moment and wouldn’t that fact be enough to keep you from going there in the first place? I don’t even want to think about what I would physically do to my bestie if we were ever in that situation, I imagine it would go down something similar to Diamond and Ronnie’s fight in Player’s Club, but one thing I do know is that our friendship would have to become null and void.

Lies and deception lead to mistrust and once trust is lost it’s hard to earn back. I would never look at her the same way again; I wouldn’t even be able to have heartfelt conversation with her without wondering how she would use it to stab me in the back again. Even if I could sincerely forgive her, nothing would ever be the same between us. I hope that I never have to actually experience such deception because these days good girlfriends are rare and hard to find.

Could you forgive your BFF for sleeping with your man? If this has happened to you, how did you forgive and move on? Were things ever the same?

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