Awww first love. The love that consumes you, makes the world seem brand new and feels like it’s never going to end. Most of us were teenagers, some of us were a little older, but no matter when it happened, the moment you felt those butterflies for the very first time the emotions that came over you felt euphoric. Then it ends and the world as you knew it feels like it is coming to an end. Go outside, what’s that? Have fun, what’s fun about losing the love of your life? But then time moves on and the tears and hurt subside; life goes on. Before you know it you’ve met someone new and you think they are the best thing out and life looks good again. But where are those butterflies and that euphoric feeling? They’re there, but they’re light. You’re more hesitant, more cautious, more jaded to that thing called love.
When we’re younger the gravity of losing our first loves doesn’t really dawn on us until we get a little older and get into newer and more serious relationships. It’s only then that the hurt and issues truly start rearing their ugly heads. Sometimes the pain of losing our first loves appear in our actions (snooping, accusing, etc) but often, the pain lives in our heads and cause unnatural fears of abandonment or being cheated on. It makes us subconsciously push away those that may actually mean us no harm. We end up going from relationship to relationship seemingly over the puppy love from our youthful days, but in reality we’re carrying that love around with us. We’ll even bump into our loves from time to time and think “I am soooo over him,” but are we really?
We may have moved on from our teenage love affairs, but even though we were young, the impact of that moment in time can still affect us. Moving on doesn’t mean letting go and when you don’t let go of pain from the past it hurts your future. Take a moment to look at some of your past relationship issues and try to figure out exactly where the root of some of your fears truly came from. Sure that last guy was a cheater, but if you were snooping before you found that out, was the reason because you didn’t trust him or because some man before him, possibly your first love, cheated on you and broke your heart. If we’re honest with ourselves most of our fears in relationships go back to our first experiences with love and in order to truly move forward with love in the present, we have to forgive the one who misused our love in the past. We may not have understood the impact of the loss of first love then, but as adults we see and live its consequences daily. I’m not saying you have to call up your first love for closure, but look deep within yourself, acknowledge how that past could potentially be affecting your future, forgive and truly let it go. The freedom you’ll experience can make the love in front of you seem as euphoric as the first time.
Have you truly gotten over your first love? How do you think that first experience shaped your current outlook on relationships? What are your tips for letting go and moving on?