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*sigh* Some men will never learn…

Radio talk show host, Howie Carr had some heartless words for two women who were allegedly sexually assaulted while camped out at Occupy Wall Street: ‘What did you expect?’

Recently, a Brooklyn man was arrested for allegedly sexually assaulting two women at the Occupy Wall Street protest in New York’s Zuccotti Park. The man,  26-year-old- Tonye Iketubosin, is accused of raping one woman and groping another.

The first victim, an 18-year-old woman, says that after getting into an argument with a man she was sharing a tent with, Iketubosin offered to let her sleep in his tent because he was headed off to kitchen duty in the encampment. After falling asleep, the woman says she awoke to Iketubosin removing her pants. She told him to stop, but Iketubosin ignored her and raped her.

Another woman, a 17-year-old, says that Iketubosin assaulted her days before the rape. She told police that she asked him to help her set up her tent, and early the next morning she walked in and found him inside. The victim says Iketubosin repeatedly groped her until she was able to push him away.

Although disturbing, these incidents are not unique. There has been a handfull of sexual assaults reported in Occupy camps around the country. Because the protests welcome everyone, the likelihood that nefarious characters will be mixed into the largely peaceful group of protesters is  inevitable. But Carr’s comments–that the women should have expected to get raped–sunk to a new low.

(skip to the 4:18 mark)

During his radio show, Carr made light of the incident, saying the 18-year-old victim probably had a trust fund, and the other victim “should have known better” than to ask a man to help her out.

Carr even went so far as to say, “These people are making a great statement against Capitalism aren’t they? Getting raped and groped.”

Carr’s comments are just another in a long line of statements that attempt to shame victims for their assault. Saying things like “they should have known better,” or questioning what a woman wears, minimizes the responsibility of the attacker, and places the blame on the victim. Ironically, Carr apparently has daughters that are of similar ages of the victims. I wonder would he be so flippant about rape if one of his daughters had been involved? Probably not.

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  • Laura

    Call him and tell him how you feel. I know I just did… 617-779-3469

  • Notthisagain

    Am I the only one who’s noticed rape, sexual harrassment and the sex scandal have become the weapons of choice when the goal is to discredit a person or an idea?

    Clarence Thomas
    Bill Clinton
    Eliot Spitzer
    Dominique Strauss
    Hermain Cain
    Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Julian Assange

    Now the only one of these men I have any use for is Julian Assange (and maybe Spitzer) but as a man I’m sympathetic to any man whose career/life is destroyed by a false rape allegation or whose private life is scandalized by some tacky trollop looking to make a kiss and tell buck.

    Of course they’re looking for a reason to discredit the Occupy movement and guess what they pick –

    RAPE.

    As the Movement gathers momemtum they’re going to have to address gender issues and the way the rape charge is used to control men, because it’s beginning to feel lke we’re living in some kind of rape dictatorship.

    • TRUE.. SAD BUT IT’S THE TRUTH OUT HERE. SUCKS TO BE A MAN IN THESE DAYS.

    • David Leeds

      Yeah, you have my pity that you can’t go around raping people at will.

    • Me

      I do agree that there are SOME women out there who use sexual assault to ruin a man’s life, and that this is wrong. Let it be known that I think these women are just as bad as the men who commit sexual assault because they are infringing on the rights of men. However, I would like to tell a quick personal story to shed light on what is actually going on in our society.

      When I was a teenager, my mother and I were sitting at home. My father came home ENRAGED because while he was at a local pub, another man came over to him and grabbed his privates. My father was running around the house screaming and cursing like a mad man, picking up a baseball bat, then a knife, also considering calling the police, etc. When my mother and I asked him what was going on, he told us that he had been assaulted by another man. The response from us was all out laughter. Honestly. He was so CRAZY angry about something that we pretty much experience almost every day. We just told him that is what it is like to be a women and continued to laugh at him.

      It’s not that we didn’t care about what happened to him. He is my father, I love him, and his assault is just as bad as anything that happens to a women. However, I think the difference of his reaction in comparison to the average women (who just expects sexual assault) should be telling about what level of respect and safety women are to expect from others in comparison to men.

      Even myself as a teenager I knew that sexual assault is just part of a women’s life that men don’t really understand. And how can we expect them to? My father was in his late 50s when this happened. It was his first experience with sexual assault, and I suspect that several men may go through their whole lives without experiencing it. However, it is all to familiar to women, period. I’ve never been raped, but I have been drugged (and subsequently saved by a friend, thank God), threatened, chased down the street at night, called a whore and up tight for politely declining to dance with men at the bar (and might I add that this happened at a gay bar that I had gone to so I would not get hit on by men). I’ve been sitting in class when a male student started feeling my thigh. I had JUST met this person 10 minutes before and gave them NO reason to think it was okay to touch me. These are just a small handful of experiences as an upper middle class white women with a law degree. If these are my experiences as a privileged person in society, what are the experiences like for minorities, the disabled, the poor? I can guarantee you they are much worse and more frequent. I’m just saying this to try to draw a clearer picture of how prevalent assault against women is in society.

      My point is that although women do SOMETIMES abuse the claim of sexual assault, AT LEAST 90% of the time they are telling the truth. I’ve been sexually assaulted too many times to believe anything otherwise. Even if the man truly believes he didn’t do anything wrong, it may not be relevant. It isn’t about right and wrong, it’s about upholding everyone’s rights in society as per THE LAW and making everyone feel safe enough to exercise their rights. I have the right to mobility, but I don’t leave my house after dark by myself because I’m too scared to exercise that right. In the last month alone a women was raped downtown and a rape/murder of a 19 year-old women happened just for two examples. How am I supposed to feel safe in a society like this?

      A man may believe his behaviour wasn’t sexually assaulting, but until men understand the true nature of assault women face, they won’t understand that the big picture requires us to take care of women’s rights first, at least with this issue. Again, it is TERRIBLE that men face allegations that may not be legitimately true, even from a woman’s perspective. However, look at the list of politicians above that have had their “lives ruined” by assault allegations. I am a Canadian and don’t know many of them. However, who doesn’t know Arnold Schwarzenegger or Bill Clinton? But even with these guys, they DID do what their accusers said. There is physical evidence that they were both fucking around. Both admitted it. If they don’t want to take responsibility, then don’t do the crime! And also, their lives weren’t ruined. They are still 2 of the most powerful men in the world, Arnold to a lesser extent, of course. I’m sure they don’t have problems feeling comfortable and safe leaving the house. I’m sure they are not scared of women the way women are scared of men. Overall, I’m sure they are not worried about their rights being protected because they will be.

      On the other hand, women’s lives are “ruined” by assault, in the realest sense of the word. Their self-worth is diminished to nothing and they are filled with fear, and you would be too if you were ever raped or subjected to everyday assaults. Worst than that, people then say that it is their fault they were assaulted and that even if they aren’t at fault, we aren’t going to do anything serious about their assaults because men MIGHT SOMETIMES be “ruined” by false allegations, where most allegations are surely true.

  • Notthisagain

    I’m sorry but I fear that we may have to start placing some of the responsibility on women to not screw married men, to not prostitute themselves and to not put themselves in situations where unwanted sex maybe a possibility. That aint blaming the so called vicitm it’s unblaming men. It’s a pretty neat trick that in any sexual dealing between a man a woman that goes bad for whatever reason, the man is the one who is always at fault.

    Nonsense

    but If not – how else how do we solve the “widespread” problem of rape?

    It has nothing to do with telling men to that they should make women safe. That implies that women are always telling the truth about rape.

    Just because someone says they were raped, doesn’t mean they were raped or sexually harrassed. If a woman has a reason to make a false rape allegation ie to discredit someone, for revenge, or buyers remorses after a night of extramarital sex, the question then becomes what can WOMEN do to protect men from flase rape accusers?

    Can women make men feel safe from false rape charges? How would you do that?

    No ya can’t so quit that foolishness.

    We may have to have gender Jim Crow in the work place and other public spaces and chaperoning everywhere men and women interact so that we can avoid these problems, since men pose such an “enourmous” threat to women in every situation everywhere..

    Kiss teet

    • David Leeds

      Ho hum, one more victim-blaming edgy dude. You don’t care that the number of false rape reports is a FRACTION of a percent of total rape reports, do you? You don’t care that most rapes don’t even get reported at all. No, you’re more worried about being accused of rape than that another human being has been raped. Gee, I wonder what’s actually worse, being accused, or actually being raped. Such a goldmine of human feeling you are.

      Here’s a tip: If you don’t want to be accused of rape, DON’T RAPE ANYONE.

      While we’re at it, how about we put some responsibility on married men not to sleep around, on men not to solicit prostitutes, and to make sure up front and in very clear language that any sex that happens is wanted. Too much work for you? Sorry your dick is so small.

  • I wonder how many protesters will still be there camping when it snows? :)

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