By now, many of us have heard the story of Barack and Michelle on a dinner date. Apparently, they went to one of the finest restaurants and the owner, noticing the President and First Lady, came over to their table to make their acquaintance. “A pleasure to meet you Mr. President,” he said shaking hands. Then he looks at the First Lady with admiration. “Michelle. You look amazing. Great to see you again.”  She smiles and then he leaves the table.  Curious, Barack asks Michelle if the owner was an old friend of hers.  “He and I used to date years ago. Before I met you,” she replied. “Wow,” the President continued. “And to think, if things had worked out, you would be co-owner of this fabulous restaurant.”  Michelle shook her head. “No. If things had worked out, he would be President.”

It makes you crack a smile, and then in the back of your mind, you ask yourself if it was really she who made him.  But Obama had a B.A. from Columbia and was on his way to a law degree from Harvard before he even met Michelle, so perhaps they made each other. Perhaps, all of his potential was there all along, stored away in a vault when Michelle came and released it with her feminine charm, powerful influence, and knowing just what to say and when to say it.

A lot of men are afraid of commitment. Not the “let’s go steady and move in together” kind of commitment. Some are afraid of that too. But most men under 40 are afraid of the “put a ring on it, let’s get married and have babies” kind of commitment.  They want to accomplish something first. They want to sow their wild oats, live their best life, travel the world, sleep with dozens of beautiful women before they settle down, trade in their condo for a house with a picket fence, a Golden Retriever, and perfunctory sex.

A lot of men want to wait until they’re ready.

And considering Shaquille O’Neal’s recent divulgence of his infidelities, maybe more of them should. Shaq’s book, “Shaq Uncut” reveals his thoughts on an athlete’s privilege to cheat and his unreadiness to be a one-woman man.  And although it is good for a man to admit his temptation to play in the street, his desire to dedicate himself to his work and not his woman, and his frequent bouts of selfishness, it is much better to admit these things before marriage and not after.

But in all of their “waiting” to get ready, could men be missing out on what a committed woman could contribute to their life?  It’s like waiting to eat but nothing is cooking.  Many men will never be ready to settle down until they meet the woman who makes them want to. The promotion they are waiting for that puts them over the six-figure mark, and in a fitting position to raise a family, may only come when they have a partner to encourage them in all of the right ways, to bounce ideas off of on a Saturday morning after sex, or on a Thursday night before it. The affirmation they need to feel adequate can only come from someone who genuinely has their best interests in mind, and that’s often not a frequently changing bedmate.

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