I know this is controversial and sounds a bit unfair, but it is a debate I have heard a lot. The question about if people who are in a serious relationship or married should continue to hang out a lot with their single friends is one that always causes a stir.

I am on the fence with this because I have seen the pros and cons. Once a person gets into a serious relationship, subtle things begin to change. For example, if you are the only single person going out with a group of single girlfriends what each of you expects out of the night can be very different. Someone in a relationship may just want to chill, laugh and dance with her girls. On the contrary, your girls may be on the hunt and extremely welcoming to male attention while you may not want to be in the mix of all of that.

It just seems that once you are in a relationship, the things that you used to do or places you used to go don’t seem as appealing anymore. More nights are spent in cuddling than going out on the town.

Usually it’s a gradual split as the lives that you and your single friends have change. When I hear this debate the movie, “I Think I Love My Wife,” comes to mind. Chris Rock complained about him and his wife only hanging out with other married couples, but when he started hanging out with a single woman, all hell broke loose. He saw how very different their lifestyles were.

Even in conversation with your friends about the opposite sex, they may be complaining about how hard it is to find a good man or woman, but you can’t relate to those issues anymore because you have someone. It can be a bit awkward and speeds up the change in subject. I have even seen my male friends get made fun of by their single friends because they chose to be in a committed relationship and settle down. The wild trips to Miami for Memorial Day Weekend with your boys is no longer in your plans because your intentions and theirs are very different.

So is this statement true, false or in between? I say in between — meaning you don’t stop hanging out with your single friends completely, but the time you spend with them decreases and the places you hang out change.

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  • damidwif

    my friends know i’m single and i know they are married. we all know what’s up. we’ve been friends forever. their marriages are newer than our friendship. i don’t have to “respect their relationship” because they are responsible for acting in accordance with their own arrangements, or not. i’m not there to monitor them or stand on some moral front for our consciences. i am there for support when they need it, and fun, always and i get the same in return. that’s what’s up.

  • It really depends. My closet friends and I have been friends over 10 years. So I wouldn’t ditch them because I’m married or in a committed relationship. I would probably have to let them know our time hanging out may not be as much but never ditch my friends. THey have been and I know they will always be there for me. That’s what true friends do. But on the other hand if it’s just someone you just hang out with on ocassion, then yes you may dissolve the friendship especially if it’s not a strong one. As always love http://www.womenaregamechangers.com.

  • It’s more about the character of the people you are hanging with. Whether they are single or in a relationship, bad company corrupts good character.