The Braxton sisters have more in common than beautiful singing voices. None of them knows how to pick a good man — or recognize when it’s time to give one the boot. I love these ladies so I want them to do better. Here’s the rundown of why Toni, Traci, Towanda, Trina, Tamar, and even Miss E, need to ditch their hubbies and find some new loving.

Toni hasn’t actually been seen with any men on the Braxton Family Values, but she recently let it slip that she’s been dating her ex-husband Keri since moving back to LA. Toni, Toni, Toni, he’s your ex-husband for a reason. It can be easy to go back to what’s familiar when it’s been a while since you’ve had your “back cracked,” as Tamar says, but getting that old thing back rarely ever works out once the papers have been signed. Maybe if Toni plays in the snow long enough, she’ll find “something new.”

I feel for Traci. Her sisters don’t make it easy for her to pursue her dream of finally becoming a singer and neither does her husband, Kevin. From the extremely few glimpses we’ve seen of him, Kevin appears to be a simple man—simple home, simple car, simple house, simple city, simple life — and he’s not about to go mess up his comfortable lifestyle in order for his wife to chase dreams of fame. It’s clear Traci is scarred by missing the opportunity to sing with her sisters when she was younger so she needs a man who will support her dreams now that there’s a slight possibility that they could come true. If Kevin won’t pick up and move to Atlanta, Traci may need to head out solo.

Instead of filing for separation from her husband, Towanda should’ve just gone ahead and sealed the divorce deal. Andre is one of the sorriest males I have ever observed. What kind of man allows his family to have to move in with someone else’s because their home is in foreclosure and asks how long they will be there? Was he absent the day they handed out man-of-the-house genes? I don’t even understand why he came as part of the deal, what is he contributing to the family? Towanda claims he’s a good father, but what kind of man doesn’t do everything humanly possible to find work to support his family? He can’t possibly think that 69 ways to love book is going to sell more than 5 copies — and that’s just if the Braxton clan decides to support it. Nobody in their right mind would take advice from a man whose own marriage is at rock bottom. Towanda, get a clue — and a new boo.

Trina’s husband Gabe has been suspect from Day 1. There wasn’t much more we needed to know about him once it was revealed he cheated on Trina for five of their eight years of marriage. Now, the once a cheater, always a cheater has been caught in a not-so-PG-13 Skype session doing naughty things to himself while one of his mistresses watches. Guess we know why he installed spyware on Trina’s phone and pops up at her rehearsals: cheater’s paranoia. Supposedly Trina hasn’t been totally faithful to Gabe either so these two need to either decide to be swingers and have an open marriage or part ways altogether. Things are obviously not going to work the way they’ve been going at it.

I don’t know one person who believes Tamar and Vince actually sleep in the same bed at night, let alone are truly in love. Their interactions are hands down awkward.com. Every time Tamar even attempts to be affectionate, Vince hits her with his classic “you don’t have to do all that” line. I can’t recall ever seeing them kiss on the lips. A reality show between these two could completely blow the lid off of this farce of a marriage. Tamar needs a more forceful man to put her in check and control her craziness.

Miss E
The matriarch of the Braxton crew, Evelyn, definitely sets the tone for the ladies. I see where Toni got her “playing in the snow” euphemism from — her mom called the white man she went out on a date with in Season 1 a snowflake. Although she was completely turned off by her blind date’s tardiness and heavy mid-day drinking, her ears immediately perked up when she assumed he had a driver because he said he’d call someone to pick him up. That was a bit of a golddigger read flag, Miss E. Sorry had to say it. Evelyn definitely gets points for leaving the girls’ cheating father but I think the potential for her finding new prospects may be slim if she doesn’t remove money from the top of her list.

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