You’ve recently graduated from college and gotten the job of your dreams.  Okay, maybe it’s not the job of your dreams, but it’s good nonetheless.   However, you’ve instantaneously connected with the other sistah in the office and together you make up the black population.  After a few social happy hours, late nights at the office and a bomb project, you’re thinking, “Girl, we have to look out for one another.”  Suddenly within a blink of an eye, you’re having an episode of Awkward Black Girl.  You’re Jay, she’s Nina.  Once, you can recall her offering to take you under her wing and “showing you the ropes.” But today, she’s your worst enemy attempting to do whatever it takes to ruin your life in the workplace.  She wants all the ‘porcelain gods’ praise and will remove anyone in her way.

Isn’t that great.  Not only are you battling the constant side eyes and fake smiles from the ‘porcelain gods’, but now you have to watch this chick’s every motive.  Reality check ― you’re back to square one. You’re reminding yourself everyday to ‘dot’ your I’s and ‘cross’ your T’s, because its every woman for themselves now.

I can remember my ‘office hater’ vividly ― for protective reasons, let’s call her “Bonk.com” ― I admired “Bonk.com,” we had tons in common: fashion, men, natural hair, and professional/personal goals.  She even went so far as to promise me a mentee/mentor relationship.  Nevertheless, as soon as I excelled in my entry-level position without her assistance, she found some way to throw “shade” to my supervisor.  Thankfully, my supervisor’s keen interest in my future outweighed this chick’s motive.

Sadly my situation isn’t rare; it’s quite common.  In 2009, Wall Street Executive Clara A. Harris commented about black women’s office relationships in Essence.  Harris claimed “she had noticed that in the workplace Black women are sometimes the ones derailing other sisters.”  Hmmm…so, maybe ABG was right, “B*tches be tripping?”

Growing up I was consistently surrounded by those who looked like me.  I went to a black owned, predominantly black private school, and went on to attend diverse middle and high schools.  However, in college I was abruptly hazed into the “raisin in a bowl of milk” society.  I was either the only or one of three blacks in my classroom.  As a result, I yearned for being and having a support system to my fellow brothers and sisters.  But for whatever reason people such as “Bonk.com” and other ‘office haters’ have demonstrated the opposite.

Maybe you don’t have the holy oil at your desk or a ‘devil flee’ chant such as I.  Nonetheless, the ‘office hater’ could be your reality, whether she’s black, yellow or blue.  You may not have one today, maybe not tomorrow, but you sure as hell don’t want to be caught off guard.

Have you ever battled an office hater? How do you cope with negativity from individuals in the workplace?     

Like Us On Facebook Follow Us On Twitter
  • Kiki

    There is a women I my office I can not stand she does that crazy high school thing were she only says hi to one person even though there is someone sitting right next to them. Then she turns around a minute later and goes” I didnt see you there”.

  • My office hater was my BOSS! My third job as a teenager, I was in the 1st year of my degree working in a very rich and prestigious area for a horrible dentist that had celebrities and wealthy people as clients. She was an emotional wreck and everybody knew it.

    On day 1 she showed her crazy personality by becoming very concerned about me standing behind her.

    She likes to control everything and I really do feel sorry for her, she was rude, aggressive and impatient, her behaviour could get her banned from practicsing Dentistry. She is unreasonable, irrational and mean. I really should begin praying for her. She is emotionall unstable, it was odd for me to watch her take out her anger on those around her.

    It left me with scars, I had never been treated like that in my entire life. I did learn though what my boundaires are. I will never allow anyone to treat me like that again!

  • M12Casey

    I have dealt with a hater at work, but it was at a retail job and she was my boss. I worked at Express in college and one day we got a new store manager that I’ll call S. I’m a shy person, but I would still do well with sales and helping customers. No other manager ever had a problem with the way I work but for some reason if she saw me talking to a customer, she would interrupt me or take over helping the person like I wasn’t doing a good enough job.

    Then one day I looked at the schedule and I had no hours for the week. I only worked part-time and occasionally I wouldn’t get hours for a week, but that only happened every now and then so I didn’t think it was a big deal. But then week after week I still had no hours. I tried to call the store to ask S why I had no hours but she refused to even speak to me. I called one time and I asked to speak to S. They gave the her the phone and she answered in a cheery voice but as soon I told her it was me calling, her voice changed and she immediately told me she couldn’t speak because she was with a customer and would call me back. Of course she never did. I even went in to the store one time and she blatantly ignored me.

    I assumed that I was fired (although I was never told so and didn’t know why). I ended up going to the store to make a purchase after I hadn’t been working for a couple of months and I was informed by an assistant manager that I hadn’t been terminated, so I could still get my discount. Not long later this same manager called me and told me that S was no longer working there and he was now the store manager. He asked me to come back to work and I did. I have no idea what happened to S but I hope she was fired.

    I later found out that my mom had called the corporate office to complain about her for me (although I never asked her to). I don’t know if that had anything to do with it.

  • Sindy

    A job at the County Ofc of Education. I took one of the hardest exams in my life, went through a placement interview and panel interview before getting the job almost a year later.

    Now, I had it rough growing up because my mom was one of those who let ppl have it but that doesn’t fly most places. So I had to learn on-the-job etiquette with a quickness.

    So by the time I made it to this place, I’m older I’ve learned to walk away, etc. but my last boss was a flat-out racist. She would try to put me on the spot about Latin culture but what she didn’t know was that I had many Mexican friends to hip me to different things. And she did make weight comments (particularly at my bottom).

    An iconic moment was when this big, overgrown baby of a male just left work in the middle of the day because he felt like it. It was also when I was supposed to take lunch. Since their beef is staying on schedule, I announced that I was going. This B#tch, less than 5 min later, went ape publicly because I was on lunch. I did not raise my voice but it did inspire me to return to school.

    I would leave months later amidst another controversy (Black/Brown) but the little bit I’ve learned in college has helped me in this recession, though I have a ways before I get my degree or certification.

  • Ms. Hate Not

    Girl, you’re sure right because I work at a government job and I am a supervisor. I have been a supervisor for 8 years,37 now and I have to deal with bonk’s.com all the time. They are upset because you are younger and very knowledgeable about your job and they are very jealous and hate all of the time. Why does it have to be that way? Why can’t we just all get along and help each other excel? Too many black people hate on one another and at the end of the day is what I hate. When I first started my manager told me to look at the supervisor that you think is the worst and make sure you learn absolutely nothing from them. Then you look at the supervisor that you think is the best supervisor and learn all that you can from them and more and then far exceed them. My manager has now retired but I really miss her because she was the best. After she left, here comes the haters. But now they always want my help and I am always trying to help but always talk about me behind my back because they say that I think I know everything and my response is, no you think I know everything. Black people black people it’s really hard sometimes!