I watched the first season of Braxton Family Values and as silly as it is I really enjoyed it. I haven’t been able to keep up with this season’s episodes and instead have been allowing myself a few spoilers here and there. Today I read that Trina’s husband Gabe was caught having a lot of cybersex, including some with a transgendered woman (who he denies having ever had cybersex with, but that’s beside the point). This is not the first time he’s cheated on his wife, and in a statement clearing things up Gabe stresses that he is not gay and links his lack of judgement to sexual addiction.

“I have NEVER resorted to same sex affairs or any physical affairs. I know that cheating is cheating and I am in no way making excuses. I am currently in therapy because I have a SEX Addiction Problem.”

So…you have a sex addiction but have not had physical sex with anyone. Ok.

Every time I hear someone use the word “addiction” linked to anything but the usual things like alcohol or drugs I have to un-learn what society has taught me about addiction, remind myself that addiction comes in all forms, and try to be sympathetic. I do believe that addiction is a serious disorder that can be treated and overcome. But sex addiction? I didn’t buy it when Eric Benet or Tiger Woods said it, and I don’t believe it when this dude does.

Of course there are some people who are truly sex addicts — people get addicted to everything from picking their own scabs to drinking water, so it stands to reason that something as fun as sex would be the center of addictive behavior for many. But sometimes I wonder if “I have a sex addicition,” is usually just code for “I like having a lot of sex and don’t care about the consequences,” for dudes who get caught seeking fulfillment outside of their relationships.

What do you think? Speak on it!

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  • Leo the Yardie Chick

    In some cases, yes I do. Especially if the person has a history of being sexually abused since early childhood, so sex becomes the only way in which they can relate to people. Since those genuine cases usually have a great deal of shame and self-loathing attached, I wouldn’t expect them to readily admit off the bat that they’re sex addicts.

    Unfortunately, I think most of the instances we hear of today are from people trying to justify their decisions to continually cheat on their partners. “Oh, I can’t help myself! I must be a sex addict!” <- sorry, I find that to be a cop out, and a way to diminish their culpability in their actions.

  • “But sometimes I wonder if “I have a sex addicition,” is usually just code for “I like having a lot of sex and don’t care about the consequences,” for dudes who get caught seeking fulfillment outside of their relationships.” – cosign

    I believe there is such thing as “being addicted to sex”, however I also believe that SOME people who have been caught cheating use it as an excuse.

    however in my opinion, whether it is a legitimate excuse or some cop out cheating isnt cool and if I am the one getting cheated on I dont think I could or would stay with the person.

    I would be like “oh you got an addiction? oh okay im sorry to hear that. well, I am going to let you go and handle up on that problem and pray you get it fix so you can be faithful to the next woman that comes in your life. peace!”

    so the issue to me wouldnt be whether or not the cheating man is lying about this “sex addiction”. if he cheats im gone. end of story.

    • Nadia

      Agreed. I think a lot of guys get caught humping everything in sight, and then, looking for a way out, say, “I’m a sex addict! I’m messed up, I have a sickness”.

      And then they get to go to rehab. And the woman he cheated on actually feels sorry for him.

      Not saying all, just sayin’ that some of these men claiming they’re sex addicts pull this okey-doke.

  • mamareese

    I can understand drug addictions your body can honestly develop a dependency for a chemical substance. But sex, food and gaming addictions…really people? This are all things folks can over indulge in and then when they are caught or someone raises an eyebrow they wanna yell well I have a problem. So you cant say no to a piece of tail or you get it in cuz you like it….that does not make you an addict, you just enjoy sex. In most cases folks that cheat or sleep with a lot of folks use this EXCUSE cause that’s what it is. If most of these people just enjoyed sex with just there spouse, boo or a limited number of people, they’d be trotting along just like everyone else. How about owning up to this and just be responsible while doing it? Sigh stop. Truly, we can be such a needy and excuse riden generation sometimes.

  • Donald K Sumner

    I would if I were tall enough to get a black women f***ing heightists…