On the latest episode of Basketball Wives producers took a mini break from the usual tomfoolery to catch a very serious and poignant moment in time. Tami Roman, the spunky, outspoken, headbussin’ wild card in the BBW crew visited a therapist to start dealing with her obvious anger issues. During the session Tami revealed to the therapist, and the world, the source of some of her anger.

Tami confesses:

“As a kid growing up, I was raped twice. My mom didn’t know about it. That’s an issue for me. I’ve been held up at gunpoint, someone threatening to blow my brains out, torturing me for four days. People have beat me up. People who I thought loved me. That’s why I’m real big on my personal space because I’ve been violated so much by people who that I thought cared about me.”

This revelation was a breakthrough of sorts for Tami and for those of us watching it definitely explained a lot and put together the pieces of the angry puzzle. Like Tami, many of us are holding on to past hurts that manifest themselves in our lives and harm us in more ways than one. We may not be flipping over tables and slapping people up, but the hurt may cause us to push folks, or doubt ourselves or lash out and snap over the smallest things. It’s not healthy to carry the pain around so here are three ways you can begin to get over the anger and heal.

Seek Professional Help
Often times there are stigmas attached to seeking therapy or joining support groups. People see it as weak or not having faith that a higher power will “work it out,” especially in the minority community. But these thoughts and other like them couldn’t be more wrong. There is absolutely no shame is seeking help for whatever troubles you, talking to someone like a therapist or joining a support group where you can be around people similar to you, can be a tremendous help. You’ll realize you’re not alone and learn valuable coping tools to help you better manage your anger and begin the healing process.

Keep A Journal
It’s hard to tell people the truth about what we’re feeling sometimes. Often we’re not prepared to hear the truth, even when it’s coming from our own mouths. Keeping a journal is a way for you to let those emotions out so they don’t stay cooped up inside waiting to explode. It allows you to work out your thoughts on paper and hopefully through the writing process you will learn what your triggers are or where your anger truly comes from.

Have A Support System
If you’re not a writer and not ready to seek professional help, turn to someone close to you that you love and trust. Create a close support system of family and friends around you that you can talk to about your pain. Having someone you trust to release your pain to can be a comfort and they can be your safe place to turn when you feel the rage boiling inside.

How do you let go of anger?

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