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“I could never see you dating a guy your age.”

That was the response I received when conversing with one of my new friends about my relationships with older men. He understood, as I’m not the typical 22-year-old being two years out of college, owning several businesses, having visited (and lived in) numerous countries, and worked a few “real” 9 to 5 jobs.

“You’re abnormal. But I wouldn’t recommend that most women your age date men as old as you have.”

I’ve dated men a few years younger than me, twenty years older than me, and a plethora in between. I stopped lying about my age once I graduated college, as I found no reason to hide it from my lovers and partners. And what I’ve found is that while relationships can be affected by age, they are more so sustained by maturity, similar interests, and common values, which doesn’t always require a close birth dates.

That being said, it is important for two individuals, age aside, to want the same thing from a relationship. Often, if there are differences, people cite it as a conflict due to age. But really it has more to do with what stage you’re at in life, and what type of relationship you feel would be best for you right now and in the near future.

Personally, I’m ready for a serious relationship, and would love to build a deep partnership and eventual marriage in the next few years…with the right person. I’m not in a rush, and in fact, I’m really enjoying the numerous male friendships that are being built out of my casual dating life. But even in these casual scenarios, I’m still seeking meaningful connections, as I want the men I bring into my life to stay as friends, even when I do find myself in my next serious relationship.

When I date, I don’t target men older or younger than me. I simply enjoy people as people, and whatever age they are—they are. I’ve dated older men that act like toddlers at times. And I’ve dated younger men that, looks aside, could fool anyone into thinking they were close to forty. There really hasn’t been a solid pattern of behavior with the older men I’ve dated or the younger ones. But I will say that the ones that I’ve kept around have similar attitudes about life, vast ambitions, and powerful wisdom to share.

So when my friend says that he could never see me dating a guy my age, he’s actually wrong. I don’t discriminate (minors aside), and do believe in many ways that age is just a number. I’m more interested in the individual connection that I feel with each man that comes into my life. I don’t want to miss out on a beautiful opportunity to experience love because I judged a man by his number instead of his humanity.

How about you?

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  • Humanity first. Always. Amazing article.

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  • Success story: I met a guy on AgeDater.C⊙M and am absolute pleased. We are going to concentrate on building a friendship and perhaps see where our relationship goes from there. Thank you very much, Gracie

  • Nana Akua

    Well this is interesting. I live in Ghana and over here dating a guy 10 to 15 years older isn’t really much of an issue. When we say she’s dating an older guy, we’talking 20 to 30 years plus. I have seen both older and younger people and truly age is just a number. You meet a 50 or 60 something old he could be a complete gentleman, knowing how to treat a lady old school style (which is kinda glamorous) or he could be worse than a 20 year old who still acts like a teenager. It’s more the person than how old he is. But of course older men know that we as younger women expect them to be a certain way so may act the part. Which may or may not end nicely

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  • Brittany

    First of all very well said. I am currently 21 and also seeing someone who is 35. Ive always been referred to as an “old soul” per say, i also graduated college this year, have lived in different countries and accomplished more than my adult counterparts. Although I have always seen no significance in age, I haven’t told any of my close friends or family in fear of judgement. The age gap did weigh in the back of my mind at first, but as time continued I realized the conversations this man is able to carry with me I RARELY find elsewhere, and we each have amazing stories of life events. I would much rather be with someone on the same wave length as me mentally then be with an individual of similar age with unbalanced maturity.