The last guy who approached me at a social event was wearing a do-rag, a jailbird-ish one-piece jumpsuit, and a matching cowrie shell necklace and bracelet set. Mind you, this was at an event where most people were wearing suits and dresses and his do-rag was so bright white and fresh that I could tell it was intentionally part of his ensemble. He was like Jerome from Martin, just a few years younger and without the rotten teeth.

Now, I’m not much of a fashionista and even think it’s kind of cute when guys haven’t quite figured out how to dress because that’s where I can help out…but come on, man. It’s hard to take a grown man seriously in 2012 when his fashion sense is stuck somewhere between the 90’s and the prison yard — not because he’s “uncool,” but I had to wonder: what is going on in the mind of man who wears a onesie, let alone dresses like he’s in jail? For me, that particular look is an instant deal breaker and indicator for other ridiculous behavior. Sure enough, I spotted him later that night drinking wine straight from the bottle. The deal was beyond broken by then.

The rational part of the human brain knows that there are many ways to fall in love (or lust). From love at first sight to a friend becoming much more, there’s no good reason to eliminate a potential suitor from the running based on some superficial characteristic. Can a great guy come wrapped in tackiness? Of course, and approaching dating with an open-mind is key! But isn’t it just as rational to recognize that little things often indicate larger problems, and sometimes the instincts that reject the little things aren’t just hard to shake, they’re accurate?

Is it shallow to have one or two instant deal breakers? Do you have any?


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