Back in 2001, writer Margeaux Rawson sat down with the reigning Queens of Comedy to get their take on what men and women should and shouldn’t do when it comes to getting it on. The article was supposed to run in Glamour, but after the editors took one look at Mo’nique, Sommore, Adele Givens, and Miss Laura Hayes’ commentary, the mag deemed it too racy for its readers. Thankfully, a new anthology titled The Lowbrow Reader Reader decided these ladies’ conversation was just what they wanted, and its finally being published.

But what was all of the fuss about?

Peep this excerpt from Jezebel:

LOWBROW READER: As you all probably know, today’s assignment is to come up with the 10 Commandments of sex. 

SOMMORE: Rule number one is see his ID and make sure he is who he say he is. Rule number two: Wash that ass! Wash that a*s! Wash that a*s!

MO’NIQUE: That’s rules three, four, five and six! Another rule: Must eat p*ssy! I know you can’t print that, but that’s rule number 10 through 59. Must be a p*ssy-licker. Ain’t no p*ssy- licker, you gotta get away from me.

SOMMORE: I ain’t really into that. I’m selective about who I let eat my p*ssy because everybody don’t take care of their teeth.

ADELE: Sommore, if it was a fight between p*ssy and teeth, pussy gon’ tear them teeth up every time. Don’t worry about it, cause that p*ssy gon’ tear them teeth up!

SOMMORE: Hmm-mmm. I ain’t wit’ it. 

ADELE: Oral sex is an art. It’s kinda like rap and comedy: Everybody think they can do it but they can’t. And if the right person do it to you, you ain’t gonna never have it no other way. You gon’ be like, “You got to go [singing] downtown!” When it’s right, it’s like crack.

You get the picture.

The ladies’ conversation got me thinking about if there really should be a 10 Commandments of Sex.

From the top of my head, things like:

  • Thou shalt always get tested before sleeping with someone new
  • Thou shalt always protect thy self
  • Thou shalt always give and receive
  • Thou shalt not obsess about your body
  • Thou shalt have a good time

Would definitely be on my list, but how about you?

If you were writing a ’10 Commandments of Sex’ what would it look like?  

*The Lowbrow Reader Reader will be released on May 22 by Drag City Books

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