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Vulnerability

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Trolling Pinterst for some inspiration, I came across this quote:

Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. — C.S. Lewis

It’s the type of quote that unearths feelings you that thought were tucked away. I instantly remembered my vow to be “actively vulnerable.” Last year I was introduced to Brene Brown. My best friend sent the link to her TEDTalk and gently prodded, “I think you need to watch this video about vulnerability.” “No,” I responded. “I don’t feel like crying.” Another friend suggested I watched the video and then another. But I never clicked. Then one Sunday as I lay curled up in my bed, drinking tea, and watching TEDTalks, the video appeared on the list of videos to watch next.

Listening to Brown’s talk, I became even more aware of how frightening it is to be vulnerable. I also became increasingly aware of how important it is to be vulnerable. But saying, “oh, I’m going to be open,” is very different then checking yourself every time you are about to shut down or close people off.

When you’ve been taught that vulnerability is the same as weakness, it’s difficult to learn and accept the truth: being vulnerable is the ultimate sign of strength. It is also your key to happiness. And it doesn’t just go for dating. This is true in every relationship. Try being open, authentic, and honest in all your encounters and see how things change. Challenge yourself to feel instead of medicating or ignoring. Peep the difference. And if you’re trying to figure where to start, just press play.

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