While the loudest chorus in Black America in response to the Creflo Dollar case been that his 15-year old daughter must have said or done something that warranted getting tackled to the ground and choked, one black father breaks away from the pack and explains why hitting children is an archaic concept.
In a letter submitted to Sister2Sister magazine, James Hill, freelance writer and father of two pre-teen girls says that fear and respect are two entirely different things:
“Truth is, hitting children can be successful — depending on your definition of success, wrote Hill. “For most reading this article, success means you feared your parents the way one fears a pitbull. Sure, they love you and would die for you, but they also might rip your throat out if you looked at them wrong. And that can work, it’s just not my definition of successful parenting.”
Hill further goes on to explain that though variations of “time out” may be laughed at in the black community, if more parents tried it, they may actually be surprised:
“Look, unless you’re raising your child to become an MMA fighter, getting hit for doing something wrong doesn’t really prepare your child for life outside your house, said continued. “Instead, she’ll probably be met with lack of access or a stinging denial. So, that’s what my wife and I do — when the kids act up, we take away that which they love most (there, that sentence doesn’t make us look too crazy does it?). Your child loves the computer — how about no computer for a week? He wants to chat on the cell — BAM! No more minutes for you! Of course, this tactic may not be the traditional route for African-American families (read: “Spare the rod. Spoil the child”). It may smack of the “time out” phenomenon which every comedian worth his salt ragged on. But you know what? It kind of works.”
As I’ve written previously, men have to be extremely careful when nurturing their daughters. They are, after all, the first men that they will fall in love with. It is a proven fact that if they witness their mothers being abused – or they themselves are abused – by his hands, they are more likely to enter into toxic relationships that mimic the “love” they’ve grown up experiencing. Studies have also shown that boys who witness or experience abuse, also perpetuate that violent cycle in their own relationships. (See: Chris Brown and Rihanna).
I applaud Mr. Hill for standing up for his daughters and children around the world. Hopefully, more fathers will do the same.