If I was a betting woman, I’d wager that at some point in time you have been a victim of Mean Girl Syndrome, you know the horrible experience of being picked on or talked about by other women for no other reason except you have the audacity to exist.

I’ve been there, and if I’m honest with myself, I’ve been a mean girl a time or two in the past as well.


Although I don’t buy into the idea that most woman are catty, competitive, and insecure, I can’t deny that more often than not, my beefs with other folks have been with women. Now, perhaps this is because I’m around sistas a lot and if you have conflicts they will probably come from those close to you, but when it comes to getting along and building allies, too often women find it difficult forging bonds with those outside of their circle.

Traditionally we have competed for prime resources—partners and jobs, for example—but as women have increasingly become more independent and in charge of their own lives, why do some of us still operate with the mentality that only one woman can shine at a time?

On Sunday, Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant will tackle this very issue on Lifeclass, and I will certainly be tuning in. But let’s pre-game for a bit, shall we?

Clutchettes, why DO some women have such a tough time getting along?

Speak on it! 

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  • Mademoiselle

    I don’t know. I try not to spend a lot of energy thinking about it either. There are plenty of non-catty women to associate with instead.

  • Picabo

    When I look at men, I see them do something that we often don’t. Men actively pursue teamwork activities (sports, military, even (unfortunately) gangs) where their success depends on them getting along. If someone is too self focused (hogging the ball, money, etc) then they are eventually ejected from the team. Whether it’s societal or biological, they also seem to have an innate need to “belong” to some cause or group bigger then themselves.

    Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that we don’t have causes to come together for or can’t be team oriented but if we don’t healthily engage in those sorts of things then how can we develop them?