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“If a woman wants to be treated equally, she should start by opening the door for me, for a change,” he said. Um ok? Is what I thought when I heard this from a friend. Apparently he wants women to open doors from him, since he’s been exerting so much energy by doing it for years. You can all blame Knighthood for this concept called chivalry. Chivalry is defined as an act of being courteous to women and being gallant. Unfortunately, some men feel as though most women want to be treated as strong independent types, so ‘eff chivalry.

Honestly, I appreciate a man that will open the door for me, either to an establishment or a car. Does it happen all the time? Not really. Is it because the man isn’t being courteous? Not all the time. You see, sometimes I get to the door first, and forget. But I do end up holding it open for them. On a few occasions, I try to make a conscientious effort not to get to the door first, just to see if they would open it. I can’t say that I’ve ever had someone not open the door. Even in a few instances where I’ve gotten to a door first, I have noticed that the guy would purposefully rush to catch up so they could open it. Now that’s chivalry.

When Destiny’s Child preached about being independent, I don’t think it meant to say to hell with chivalry. What men fail to understand is that although women talk about independence, it doesn’t mean that they don’t want to be treated well or even be perched upon a pedestal. Just because a woman is independent doesn’t mean she you shouldn’t open up the car door for her. Those actions don’t lessen a woman’s independence. It shows a woman that a man can be courteous.

Women, let a man open the door for you. Walk a little slower, so he doesn’t have to sprint past you to reach the door. Shouting to a man that you don’t need his help, can be a turn-off, as well as a deterrent from possibly doing it for the next woman. Also, women you too can be chivalrous. If a man opens the car door for you, reach over and unlock the door for him as a courtesy. Chivalry is supposed to be a two way street and just because you’re independent doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t accept someone’s act of chivalry.

Do you think chivalry is dead or even necessary any more?

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  • minna k.

    Hi everyone. :)

    IMO in this society and time i think when dealing with this subject of chivalry, we can get caught up in the implications of status and entitlement. Who “deserves” kindness or courtesy in everyday life based on what form and expression they may convey. I think we loose nothing when we are courteous to others, even if they are nasty fools in return (which is their problem anyway, and will manifest in their life in ways that we wouldn’t see in the moment). I hold the door or give up a seat for other people in general.

    What i don’t agree with is when men behave in a chivalrous way only because they think the woman is attractive, and can use it as leverage for further means. Many of these same men will ignore women that may not strike their interest, and will perhaps even become thoughtlessly rude from my observations.

    That is B.S.