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At some point in between the college years and post-graduation, there comes a time when you’ve lived with a roommate.  All throughout college I had roommates. Some I knew from high school, others I only met through answering an ad.  Even during my adulthood there have been times when I had a roommate. My favorite roommate was SJ.  We were both from the same area, even had mutual friends, but some how our paths never crossed until later in life.   During our cohabitation we shared a 3 story townhouse. She had her privacy, I had mine.  Never once did we have disagreements about bills, food, or space.  Eventually she moved out on her own, and I finally had my house to myself again. Although I enjoyed having her as a roommate, I enjoyed my own space even more.

Now that I’m in my mid-30’s, I think it would be virtually impossible for me to share my space with a roommate.   Technically, it already feels as though I have one because of my son who lives with me full-time, he just doesn’t pay half of the bills.  But I’m talking about another adult, a full-sized person, taking up adult space.   I don’t want to have to deal with another personality and worry about if they’re going to be able to cover their half of the mortgage and bills.  When I see the various roommate situations a few friends are in, I don’t see how they cope with 3 or 4 adults living under one roof.

In these troubled financial times, I understand that people may need to have another person to split the bills with.  That’s understandable. But, at what point in your life, do you just say no to roommates?  I’ve come across several people in their upper 30’s and 40’s with 2, 3, or 4 roommates. I don’t know why, but most of these people are men.  Personally, if I find out a man has a roommate(s), just a tad bit of my interest is lost.  Call it being fickle, but I really don’t want to sit up in a man’s house while 4 of his roommates are roaming around.  Communal living just isn’t conducive to quality time with a significant other.  No one wants an audience, and no one wants to be sequestered to a certain area of a house or apartment just because the “roomies” are around.  In an opposite scenario, I can recall when a guy friend was visiting a woman’s house for the first time.  She never mentioned that she lived with roommates, but once he arrived it felt as though he was in a fishbowl. All of the roommates seemed as though they were inspecting him. He complained that they barely had any privacy  Needless to say, he made it a point never to hang out at her house again.

I learned early on that a roommate situation is only for me if it’s temporary.  You need a place to stay while you’re getting on your feet? Sure, I can handle that, but extended time periods could never work out.

Do you think there comes a time when people are too old for roommates? Have you dated someone with roommates and felt uneasy visiting them?

 

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  • 22 and this is my last semester in college, even though my roomie has been out for a couple of years now. I have the same attitude as I did when I graduated high school – I WANT MY OWN SPOT – cause you can’t call it your own when you’re sharing it. After this gal, the only roommate I’ll want next is my husband.

  • black_feminist

    I am in my 30s and I just got a roommate this year. For me, this was the best way to get additional income to pay off my debt faster. It’s a temporary situation and it beats getting a part-time job.