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There are a few words that are routinely thrown around when policing women’s sexuality. Whore is one of them. It’s hard to turn on a reality TV show or listen to a rap song and not hear the word, yet it’s even harder for most people to define it. Is a woman (I say woman, as men are rarely described that way) automatically a whore if she sleeps with several people? Is she a whore if she’s sexually adventurous yet in a monogamous relationship? Can revealing clothing make her a whore even if her behavior isn’t promiscuous?

There’s no concrete, universal definition for what constitutes a whore. Rather, the term is subjective and can be used to apply to any woman in need of slut-shaming. That’s the only way I can wrap my head around the fact that it’s used to berate people for whom the term shouldn’t apply.

Lala Anthony spoke out on the whore conundrum while visiting Power 106. Via Necole Bitchie:

The caller was in a situation where she felt she was getting a bad rep because of her friend who slept around and wanted to know how Lala would deal with the situation since she is friends with Kim Kardashian. Lala responded:

First of all, We joke around and have fun but I am really starting to get a little tired of people calling her that to me because if I was calling your friend a whore you wouldn’t like that would you? No matter what people’s perceptions are, I know my friend and I know her heart and who she is and she’s not a whore. We are all grown now! I can’t be responsible for what people think about other people, I go by how a person treats me and she’s always been an amazing person to me.

[…]

I think a Hoe is someone who has no morals or values when they do what they do. So I think a hoe is breaking up [a home]– knows a person is married and is messing with him. I don’t think a hoe is someone that sleeps around because if you are single and enjoying yourself, that is what you are suppose to do.

Everyone’s delineation of whoredom is different, but Lala makes a good point about the manner in which people determine who is a whore and who isn’t. It’s not based on behavior, but on people’s perception of said woman.

In the case of Kim Kardashian, as much as some of us may dislike her, when have her sexcapades been outside of a monogamous relationship? Even the infamous sex tape that brought her fame, which people cite to prove she’s a whore, took place while in a committed multiple-year relationship with Ray-J. So can she truly be classified as a whore?

Speak on it, Clutchettes and Gents: Do you use the word ‘whore’? How do you define it? Do you feel the term is used to shame women when it doesn’t even apply?

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  • cocochanel31

    Pretty much…….

  • chinaza

    I think people are being self-serving hypocrites when they hide behind the mantra of “don’t judge”.
    Judgment is ä part of every part of life so get over that naivete.
    Being ‘young” – how long does any adult woman wear that label like some teenaged ingenue?- is not synonymous with being ” immoral ” or “promiscuous”.
    We want to discard morality and decency from our sexual behavior but we want people to be moral and decent when they handle our children, our money and our careers.Our government. Stop fooling yourselves because you can’t have it both ways.
    This question elicits more than an opinion of an irrelevant woman or the defintion of a popular term. It reflects who we are and what we represent. Or don’t.

  • cocochanel31

    I guess it then begs the question what constitutes a whore? A woman with more than one boyfriend, or someone with over three boyfriends by 30, someone who never married but has/had sex, what exactly is it is the question, but as we can see different people have different interpretations.

  • It’s funny I just had this conversation with a male friend. I honestly feel bad for Kim. I never thought she was a whore, it just sucks that she is famous for her sex tape. However the sex tape was with her BOYFRIEND! It also sucks that all of her relationships are publicized. But shorty has a mortgage and car payment, I aint knocking her hustle. Besided, who am I (we) to judge?

    And in response to the Biblical comment about defining who is a whore (@cocochanel31), after closely studying the Bible and the time period, it is proved that married men were not considered committing adultery if they slept with non-married women, only married women.

    From the ancient Hebrew times to today, men are overlooked as being a “whore.” Ray J got cool points for that sex tape. While it did bring Kim K. fame, she will always be stuck with the stigma as a whore.