Relationships are hard. Long distance relationships are even harder, at least in my opinion. I used to be the type of person that preferred some distance between myself and the person I was in a relationship with. My ex-fiance was a perfect example. He was in the military and stationed between Iraq and a few other places in the south. I had my space and when he was stateside he had his, but there were times when we shared each other’s space. It was perfect. Well until I found out he was a lying cheat and engaged to another woman at the same time. But that’s a different story.
The person that said that absence makes the heart grow fonder was lying. In my older years, I’ve gotten to the point where I need someone in my immediate area. There were times when I was fine with driving up to New Jersey or New York City for a date, or visiting the ex down south, but nowadays, if you’re more than an hour away, I consider that long distance and I’m pretty much not interested.
I don’t want to spend airfare for a relationship any more. I don’t want to schedule a date 2 weeks out, and then drive 3 hours to New Jersey for a weekend. Right now, I’m all about convenience. I want to be able to call someone after work, and see if they want to catch a movie or have dinner. You know, if I run out of gas (which I have on several occasions) I’d like to be able to call someone besides AAA. When you’re in a long distance relationship, you can’t do any of this. I’ve read a plethora of articles on how to make long distance relationships work. For example, Ask Men recommended doing things together, while apart and video chatting. Been there done that, got the t-shirt and Skype minutes.
Maybe I’m spoiled, by the convenience of having someone in the area and don’t really want to put forth any extra effort. Recently, there was one person that lived in Tennessee. He tried really hard to sell me on the fact that a long distance relationship could work. I applauded his effort, but had to explain to him my stance. He didn’t get it, until one day I invited him to an event and he couldn’t make it because it was too last-minute. The event was a month out. Point made.
Who knows, one day I may change my views on long distance relationships. But right now, even Northern Virginia is too far for me even though I live in Maryland.
Are you or have you ever been in a long distance relationship? What were the pros/cons?