I’m a numbers girl.
I take pride in my cell’s large phone book as much as I take pride in amassing new Facebook friends, Tumblr followers, and page views. I’m sorry, but in this day and age, the higher the numbers get, the cooler one looks.
This creates a problem, however, when there are just certain people to whom one shouldn’t be linked—past lovers. Naturally, the Internet makes it hard to completely escape from the counterpart of your failed relationship. But, in some sort of sick backwards logic, I tend to increase this hardship by keeping them around in the digital arena for longer than necessary.It’s clearly an unhealthy habit, seeing as in the past three months, I have:
- Drunkenly called an ex (my first, and most serious love), and told him, “I still love you.” Umm…so not true, and so, so wrong to say.
- Texted a boy I always tell myself I won’t get emotionally attached to after sex…and then do. And yes, that text resulted in just that.
- Initiated contact with a hookup after two months of radio silence. He maintained radio silence. That was just downright embarrassing.
Today, I finally managed to chuck out the trash after seeing a past date’s AIM Away Message as simply, “YouPorn.com.” Dear lord, I did not need to see that. Delete.
I found with the first one gone, it became easier, and before I knew it, my cell phone had lost some serious weight. (Yet, I do secretly admit that I can’t wait until one does text and I get to respond, “Um, who is this?” as if I ever gave a damn).
More level-headed women, like my roommate, concede that there’s a three to four week grace period before the last interaction and final deletion. At that point, erasure is the best way to move on and face the music: Dude just isn’t going to call.